No pun intended Acronyms used SLT : Senior Leadership Team Time 11am - Phone Bzzz Bzzz* Satya: Hello? Sundar: Hey Satya this is Sundar Satya: What do you want now? Sundar: Nothing just wanted to show off that we are all set for Keynote I/O Satya: Great😒 What should I do now? We already have ChatGPT that people love and you have lost the battle Sundar: Trust me we haven’t even started yet Satya: Lol! We will even beat you to the search engine race Sundar: Here’s a link to the prerecorded deck of what we will be presenting tomorrow. Watch this and have a good night sleep Sundar drops from the call* Satya: SLT we need to meet right now SLT: Can’t we hold off until tomorrow on this? Satya: No I said right now😡 SLT Joins the call* Satya: I went over a leaked deck from tomorrow’s Google I/O and we are doomed SLT: Don’t say that our earnings have been really well, the the stock is performing well, we did massive layoffs under the name of macroeconomic conditions and scared the shit out of the remaining employees Satya: You forgot Do more with less but that’s not the point here. Sundar is going to call Google an AI first company tomorrow. And unlike us they are actually an AI first company SLT Member: Everyone knows what happened when Mark called Meta a VR first. We shouldn’t be promising anything right now Satya: 😡 you are fired. Removes the SLT member from the call* Satya: I have decided to steal Sundar’s limelight tomorrow. Now that we have earned $Millions in our bonuses last week I’m going to ask everyone to take a paycut this year. There won’t be an exodus as no one is hiring. With $Billions that we will save this year from rewards and merit increases we will fund stupid ideas like Activision and buy more of OpenAI SLT: Shouldn’t we be fixing our services instead? Satya: Nope! My way or the highway. Any questions? Satya mutes everyone on the call* Satya: Now that no one has any questions I’ll go draft my confusing yet lack of empathy email. Stacy do we have emails from Balmer’s time? I want them as a template Stacy: Sending you right away Satya: Cool! Let’s steal that limelight tomorrow. Sundar has no idea what’s coming his way. I’m going to set a benchmark. Good night everybody TC: Fraction of what Satya earns right now. Probably his grocery bill for a month #engineering #software #swe
Nice one
Satya: it’s showtime
It's show time 🅱️aby 😎
It's show time 🥜ee🥜ee
What's SLT?
Lol! “empower every person …on the planet to achieve more” with less money, less people
And people say ChatGPT will replace all writing. The bored human mind will always win. A+ humor right here
The first thing Sundar will say.... SATYA GARU
Sundar is tamil guy
Macha
Satya sounds like Gavis Belson in this conversation 🤣
Would love to see this become a play
I have not seen the current email but there is no way you’d mistake a Ballmer email for Satya’s word salad drivel.
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