Recently moved from being staff to Engineering manager and one thin I've noticed is the amount of politics or diplomacy one need to be apt at. For example, I was in a meeting last week where some people presented a quite disruptive project that I suggested they think again and instead of writing the code from scratch do in a more piece meal fashion. However, appear to my honest feedback was considered as hostile and now these people (who are my colleagues) became angry at me that I tried to torpedo their "innovative" project. While I somehow showed all my cards and got a bit agitated in the meeting, another manager who has similar stakes as me simply remained calm and just asked them to present a proper project plan, timelines and said that let's weigh rewards vs efforts. Even saying that he is happy to help them in any way to prepare that plan. Later I got to know that even this manager didn't want this but he hedged his bets because supposed impact could be huge and he didn't wanna get into an open discussions specially because there were higher ups present who are super enthusiastic about it. I was super upset in the beginning but now I feel it's me who need to learn how to read the room and be good with how I speak or frame my arguments so that they do not come as bitter truths. How do I get better at this ? #manage #communications #tech #corporatebrokers #projectmanager
It's good that you recognize this about yourself. It's all about your mindset regarding this issue - Do you care more about being right or do you care about how others leave the meeting feeling? This determines your actions and your words
So what you are suggesting is “care about others even at the cost of business ? “ trying to understand. Since most of the times I put business ahead of feelings.
Lol man you are in high horse. Respectful is the key. Giving opinion is next to nothing without a good suggestion.
You’ll learn with experience
All you need is experience. Would suggest: * Focus on listening during that first period. * Observe how other give suggestions. * Avoid open confrontations but rather focus on asking coaching style of questions, so other could understand gaps on their own * Make friends with people who have similar mindset- they will help you with pushing your ideas
Sounds like you have at least one good model to learn from.
Learn to ask the right questions. If you’re not able to see the benefits, ask the team presenting to explain it to you more so that you do & can see why they feel it’s worth the effort. Don’t shoot an idea down, or anything/anyone got that matter, without being sure you fully understand the context first
When it comes to something with big buy in from higher ups or big potential impact always try to get to yes, but constructively. If it's a big potential impact thing but say it involves a lot of work from your team that is at odds with current priorities I'd say something like "This would be amazing, but we will have to work with [other project team x] on how to balance [your teams] resources because we are already stretched thin on x" If you think it's poorly planned, then do what the other manager did and offer to help with that. (Also for future reference "come back with a proper project plan, timeline and risk/reward assessment" is basically saying "you didn't think this through and it's a bad idea"). If it's to higher ups suggesting unworkable ideas, try and figure out what problem they're trying to solve and offer up alternatives.
This. "come back with a proper project plan, timeline and risk/reward assessment" is a Professional Manager Class-ese for “why are you wasting our fucking time with this ill-conceived nonsense?” OP needs to learn the lingo.
If feels from what you wrote, you have devalued the team and manager who had worked on a solution for some time.. Instead think your solution is the greatet and finest. Manager is all about empowement and you had to empower the team with giving timilines and tasks. I don't feel there are politics but getting used to the team who had one kind of experience. If you are forcing an individual or team in a certain way in short amount of time , it wont abode well. So sit back and not get technical too much as role Is not technical, instead a people management role. Also asking questions to team always would lead to thinking you are a micro manager. Talk only when its necessary.
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