How to manage your manager?
How to disagree with your manager? How to let him know that he is wrong without bearing the repercussions? How to let him know that his evaluation is unfair? Why is it that an unhappy manager can make life difficult for an engineer, but not the other way around? Any anecdotes/experiences welcomed.
Do you have data to back up your disagreement? Or is this more of an approach issue?
You really think discussions with managers are data driven? If only...
Yes. It 100% depends on the topic. If about compensation, show other offers to demonstrate market value. If about business decision, that should be pretty obvious that you can dig into assumptions in the business case.
In software, most disagreements aren’t between wrong and right as much as they are one set of benefits over another. Make sure you are both on the same page in terms of priorities that drive decisions. It sounds like you generally aren’t seeking to understand your manager’s motivations or priorities. First seek that out, then you can talk to why your solution is better in terms they will care about. Trust me, unhappy or stubborn engineers do make a manager’s life difficult. Usually this is a day to day difficulty rather than a monetary difficulty. You shouldn’t aim to make your manager’s life difficult as it naturally makes them less likely to want to help you when it matters - defending you, unblocking you, providing you worthwhile feedback to grow your career, finding opportunities for you to grow and shine, etc.
Vote with your feet.
Elaborate?
OP probably means leave and find a new job
Change manager. Plenty of jobs in this world.
Plenty of bad managers too in this world. In every company.
What does evaluation is “unfair” mean? That doesn’t sound like managing your manager and more that you think you are more of a rockstar and your manager thinks your average. To manage your manager, find out what’s important to him, solve those problems to make it easier on him and make sure he knows about it (consult him on how to solve when appropriate)
If you don’t know what evaluation is “unfair” means, I probably don’t want your opinion.
That’s not managing your manager. That’s a difference of opinion on your value and he’s not able to see your value and you need to better prove it to him. I.e you aren’t talking about technical decisions or focusing him on what will help you to stop micromanaging/etc. you just don’t think he is fair towards you
The best tip I can give is don’t make it about ‘you’ or ‘him/her’. Base the argument upon why it’s good for the business, team etc. I try to avoid saying ‘but I think we should...’, instead I opt for ‘I’m hearing from the team / the numbers suggest’. At the end of the day it’s about presenting a lot of facts. But if your manager still disagrees make sure you understand his/her reasons - disagree and commit to their decision. If you feel that they are continually overriding you at every decision and don’t believe in most of their decisions then move on.
This doesn’t work in extreme political environments, where they don’t really care about company/stock performance. They’ll let go even star performers and maintain that there were managed out for Company’s sake, even when the employee is voluntarily quitting.
If it’s a toxic pattern, then the best course of action is to leave and find another opportunity.
Your manager isn't your boss. You don't have to always take their direction. You manage your manager by setting boundaries and incentivizing them to let you work and stay out of the way.
I have similar issues. After trying various things and failing, I've decided to let him be, and I avoid raising concerns to avoid confrontation or conflict with him. It sucks, but I'm living a happier life tbh