Hello Blind Fam, Apologies in advance for a long winded post. TLDR; I’m a meek and under confident woman, colleague is much more senior and has been overstepping and has completely overtaken the work I was assigned. Tough love is appreciated, I’m not playing the victim card here. Of course it’s also my fault. Looking for advice on how to take charge. So I’ve recently been assigned a task which was supposed to be my chance to prove that I can deliver something this big and complicated. The whole thing from designing the code to implementing to figuring out the delivery schedule was assigned to me. (I’m a software engineer) Now; I had to coordinate my delivery with someone working on the hardware side of things. He is familiar with the aspects of what I have to do since he has been working on the project since the last few months. I was onboarded two ish weeks ago. I’ve been trying to ramp up since I’ve started, but this is a supremely new and complex task, it’s never been done on our team before and I’m sorry I’m not a genius. I can’t just start writing code without knowing what I’m supposed to be doing. There is a certain process I follow, I need to know the complete details of the project and the system and only then after connecting the dots in my mind I start implanting code. This may not be the ideal way to go about things in this fast paced instant delivery industry, but my process while it takes a couple of weeks or so longer, ends up with high quality and meticulous code with not a lot of bugs. This colleague, maybe he’s worried about me meeting the timeline, he and I have never worked together before, he went ahead and started implementing the code. He did not even communicate with me about him doing so, and just sent out an email saying he’s done implementing stuff and all that I’m needed for is filling in some ‘small blanks and it’s not a lot of work’. I let this pass and set up a meeting with him to discuss the break up of my task and when I would be delivering them, we wrote down the agreed upon dates and a few hours later he messages again saying that he has finished the things I was supposed to deliver. I’m not sure how to take over the reigns again. This looks really bad for me. And more than that, all it’s done is create a lot of anxiety and stress. I feel like a failure (yes I know I am at fault here too), but I would really appreciate any advice to just stand up and take charge again. I’m so worried about getting bad performance reviews based on this and I really want to make meaningful contributions to the project. I feel like my opportunity to contribute something meaningful to my team and the project has been snatched away by this duplication of work and wasted my time and has left me looking incompetent and stupid and incapable. Please help me. TC 150k YoE 4
You need to spin this and make it look like you've been managing him and then take the credit for delivering the project before he does.
This is a tough one. You have not been set up for success. First of all, stop beating yourself up. With enough time and the right experience, you could have handled this your way and taken charge. Spinning this as your work not his may or may not work (depends on your teammate's personality, they could obviously fight back and won't be wrong to do it). Is there some part of the project you can take on and build upon? Some corner case that you can do a deep dive on and show your contribution? Also document document document.
I’m more than happy to let go of this task and let him have all the credit as long as my name as contributor is taken off of it and I’m moved on to a different aspect of the project where I can make meaningful contributions. The way it works in my team is that the team lead decides who works on what aspect of a project, and this guy who is overstepping is from a different team (the hardware team for which we write the software). He has immense software knowledge too (clearly) so he decided to just get stuff done rather than wait for me to catch up. Which I’m fine with I honestly am not bent on working on this particular task. If my boss can say that he can do everything on his own without our teams help, and I get moved to a different task on the project, I’m good with that outcome. But I don’t know how to tell my boss that I respectfully decline to work on this since I’m Clearly not needed. I don’t know what the repercussions of that will be to my reputation, my performance review and my rewards. Maybe I need to change my attitude to that if a go getter, and if that’s what is the best way forward, I’m happy to work on doing so
Yeah, be absolutely confident about your inherent worth to your team and org. You are more than just one task on one project. You can have a 1-1 with your manager asap and tell them how the overstepper took over before you could do anything. In fact, project a bit of annoyance (which I bet you feel anyway) to show that a chance to shine was taken away from you. It really isn't your fault. If you radiate confidence and openly talk about what happened, you will be able to manage the narrative instead of letting manager daw his/her own conclusions. The main mistake I made in the early part of my career was to not be more proactive talking with my manager. So don't fall into trap of internally worrying and not speaking up. Build up that sense of entitlement 😊
Talk proactively with your manager and team lead in a 1:1 asap. Present it in this way, "Since the start of this project, I did x,y,z. I set up sync meetings with douchebag to flesh out separate tasks. Looks like he's very interested in the entire project since he's doing my part of the work as well. Which is great, but not when he's doing it without informing me. I feel like me continuing on this project would be a waste of my and his time. I would prefer if you'd let me take on another project so that douchebag can continue doing what he's doing and I also have enough agency in my work." Say all this with a smile and a chuckle. Make it sound like you found it hilarious. If your manager is competent, they'll either take the douchebag out of the project or reassign you immediately. If not, they'll try to do some kind of project management which you should resist and insist on a different project.
Thank you so much! This is exactly what I’ll do :)
Well put @datadog. OP you should not doubt your worth and ability to contribute to your team’s goals. Since this over enthusiastic person has taken over, you should disengage from this because you can’t meaningfully contribute to this project anymore. Just tell your manager what datadog has written, and ask for new work where you have more autonomy. Two people doing the same thing is unnecessary, and wastes resources - be the person to identify this deficiency and correct it.
Tough situation ! I would advise to understand why is he behaving this way ? Having a good understanding of that may give you a solution. Else the other way is - talk to your manager tell him “how this project is so simple that 1 person can do it and your expertise is not needed . It’s in the best interest if the company/team to assign you another project that really needs attention . “Do your boss a favor by asking for another top priority on his list that has been waiting .
If this isn’t how he usually behaves all the time, it’s probably because he wants to get done with the deliverables quickly. And having me just start on this a couple of weeks ago and then needing time to ramp up is just inconvenient to him. I set up personal time with him to get on the same page about deliveries and milestones as well, we put down concrete dates. He was supposed to wait for me to deliver those. Clearly he can manage on his own. And I’m not needed. So it’s better that he does it himself.
And thanks for the suggestions on how to present this to my manager :) appreciate it!
Start being assertive in all your meetings. If colleague has been overstepping, bring it up with your manager. Also, set up time with senior colleague to share how with your prior experience you are keen to add value to the project. Maintain a positive relationship with your colleague. You don’t want to burn bridges when you are new to the team. Ensure you have weekly touch points with your manager. Share weekly updates in this meeting. If senior colleague is not cooperating or overstepping, clearly say this is proving to be a hindrance to your engagement with other teams.
That’s a great idea! I do have weekly 1:1s with my manager. I’ve let him know about this. Will ask to be moved to a different task on the project where I can meaningfully contribute.
You were onboarded two weeks ago and asked to handle a complex project? Sounds like a red flag to me tbh.
I don’t mind the challenge, I’m ready to work more hours, but I am having a really hard time with this person overstepping.
Well, then don’t feel bad about being overshadowed. This dude sounds like the type of person who wants to always be the star, so it sounds like you were just unlucky. Over time, you’ll get a chance to prove yourself. I highly doubt your manager or team would judge you based on this.