Im 29 and I haven't dated in a min. My last breakup with my ex made me wanna work on myself because I was slightly depressed. Overall im thankful for the break up because it really made me into a better man who loves himself and believes in himself. Not to mention the gym has helped me too. So I meet this one girl at a bar we strike up a convo and we exchange information. I ask her out and she says yes. So on the night of our date I bring her a bouquet of flowers. And bro she just laughed in my face and thought it was a joke and called me a weird. I literally laughed at her, said it wasn't a joke and then just ended the night with her there. I didn't even take her out 😂. Not the type of person I can see myself with in the future. Was I wrong for this?
You wanted her to carry around a bouquet of flowers for the evening? Who taught you this nonsense?
Sounds like you have never received flowers.
Unless the plan was to go to the club as a date, I don’t see what’s the big deal about flowers. just put it on the side as you eat. It’s not exactly expensive either. Maybe 12 bucks from Trader Joe’s. Sure it’s a bit overkill, but anyone who would actively demean someone for putting in effort is not someone you want in your life
Bullet dodged
Yes, she was lucky to get away while she still could
Dumbsheet, i hope your partner could have or will dodge the bullet
yeah man going too hard / desperate. be cool
Flowers are the best lol she’s a joke
Exactly
It's definitely unusual, almost no one buys flowers on first date. You could have played it out to your advantage and used it as a differentiation factor and stated that you're old fashioned, chicks dig that. Unfortunately you fumbled the ball hard.
I don’t think he fumbled at all. According to OP she laughed in his face and called him weird, I don’t think that’s called for at all. Even if it’s unusual, it’s nothing weird.
very tone dependent. if OP correctly interpreted tone as mean spirited mocking, he did the right thing, but I suspect it was flirty mocking that he misread.
Well you met her at a bar. What did you expect?
I think you’re a baller. Great move ending it right there. Many women would appreciate that move and she’ll regret it. I’m sure she did as soon as you shut her down. Good for you. As far as the advice that I’m sure you’ll get on here from the chauvinists who talk a big game and place their balls in a jar next to the front door when they get home from work. Don’t listen to them. Everyone is too damn transactional these days. She’s apparently used to her Tinder dates. She wasn’t for you.
I asked a woman out for a coffee. She said she only goes out to lunch or dinner. Others on tinder want you to treat them as sugar babies. Tinder is purely transactional.
Exactly. This woman isn't ready for a relationship. It made her feel uncomfortable that someone would put thought for her.
Women love flowers but not on the first date. Imagine giving her an engagement ring on the first date. That’s an extreme, but both are weird.
Nah, that's a strawman argument right there.
Ring and flower are two very different things. False equivalency
So, flowers on the first date is weird, but you do you. The flag is on you in how you responded IMO. She laughed and gave you a bit of a hard time. A lot of women in my experience want to see if a guy can be cool, take a joke, and laugh at himself. Or does he have an adverse reaction - like get defensive, storm off, or worst case angry/violent. You had the opportunity to laugh it off and be cool. Admit to not doing this often and you just wanted things to go well. Go on the date and see if you actually like her, but you chose to storm out. Maybe you missed out? Maybe she did? Maybe it wouldn’t have worked out? But you never got the chance to find out. If you’re just getting back into dating, try rolling with things a little.
This
💯 this is the answer here. Learn to take a joke! If you haven’t dated in a while, you will get thrown some curve balls, but more important than getting laid, is learning how to handle those curveballs confidently and in good faith. Besides, dating habits change over time. She’s not stupid for laughing at the flowers, you’re not stupid for getting them. The expectations were misaligned! This will happen a million more times in your life. Hopefully you don’t storm away from all those moments
That’s because of toxic masculinity and social media. Simps are viewed as unattractive etc. back in the day it was fine to get a girl flowers. Society has changed, biology hasn’t It’s a power move to reject someone because they brought flowers. These types of power dynamics didn’t exist back in the day, it was accepted that the man had most of the power and was the chooser They hate it because of what social media has taught them, not because they are innately repulsed by it
Nah women were never attracted to nice guys. Women are attracted, like Rihanna called in her song "rude boys". Women are attracted to strong men.