I cried first time in years. Too stressed about career and life. Never felt like this before. Need advice.
Hi everyone, I am sorry if this will go long. I need to vent out out some things I never did before and I am too hesitant to discuss with anyone else I know. I am living in India, working for TCS since last 2 years. I was happy when I joined. For the first time in years there was a little bit of joy in my family after 14 or 15 years. My father died when I was 9. No other earner in my family so mine and my siblings' childhood and teenage went away in near poverty. Only good thing was our father left a roof for us. All my siblings' including me started tutoring at young ages to make the ends meet. I am telling you this because money became a big factor for me since the day I got sense of life. I thought life != money is just misery. So, it became a big negotiator in my decision making system. Coming to high school, the high fees of coaching and everything was not even into equation for me so cracking JEE and getting good colleges seemed impossible. So, cleared a scholarship exam - joined a local city college on scholarship (if it wasn't for this scholarship - i would have left education after 12th and started a job and prepare for govt exams - that was the plan but never happened) - this was near when internet boom started in India and I still didn't have any internet access so I didn't know what's important and what's not for interviews or even what's cp or leetcode. No guidance because even seniors and teachers were not aware of these things. My sister got a job - bought a laptop - we used it for a certain time so that everyone can utilise it equally. I got to know about big packages - I got access to YouTube and social media - I got overwhelmed by internet and got depressed for the first time in life after seeing the successful life of people and how easy they make it seem. I started losing hope (this was the start of my actual mental health decline but I never acknowledged it being from a small town and still it's a very insignificant concern of my life maybe because of negligence). Finally, I made sure to focus on getting good grades in college because that was in my control. Then came to know about GATE in 3rd year and saw that as the only path to earn good money (which was still the biggest negotiator) and give a decent life to my family. Joined the best coaching institute - payed the full fee from our tutoring savings (a significant number for my family) and then after 1 month of classes COVID came. Classes stopped - nothing happened for months - and the time until online classes started I already lost hope and due to fomo started applying for off campus placements. Cleared NQT - Joined TCS Digital and finally life was still after so many years. Joined TCS and for the first time in life I got into the euphoria of money. It was working like a drug for me. The more I started getting the better it felt. And most importantly I was able to give a decent middle class life to my family. Everything was good for a while. As the time went by and life became active and world got out of COVID - I again started feeling a gap. I started realising that the euphoria was fading away. I didn't know why but now money was not the only negotiator. I am still not completely sure what is it. Now, comes my final dilemma - after 2 years at TCS I resigned recently and I have an offer from another not so well known company with between 50% - 80% hike. And, as I said I don't have any career mentor so I just made the decision without even thinking. I still want more money (like big tech money) but now I also want to have a sense of security for my family's future and I am ready to trade it for money. So, basically I want money but not at the expanse of my mental health and most importantly my family's future. Also, now I want to do what I think favoured me from the start of my journey - Learning stuff - like giving GATE another try. Now, I can't tell if this decision is right or wrong and it's making my head blow out - I haven't slept well since my resignation. My gut says that I should continue with TCS (good team and I am currently comfortable with the work I am doing) and prepare for GATE and keep improving my skills (I am a data engineer) and only make switch if I get a well known product based company. But my mind says one thing - money. I have never been in so much conflict and seems like if this is what my life's going to be? Chasing any company for good money (which is a confirmation rn because I have accepted the offer - again in fomo). Or should I stop and prepare for something better (good product based company or higher studies). This is a very stressful decision for me because my whole family depends on me right now. So, any advice would really be helpful. I have started having random outbursts and stress when I think too much about this. What should I do? Should I take back my resignation? Should I join the new company and expect everything goes good? Help me. #burnout #depression #mentalhealth
Chill my man. You are making something way more complicated than it should be. What you are doing is completely normal, that is, going for a hike. That is the way to go. After two years, it's completely fine to jump ships. As for gate and higher studies, what do you wish to achieve by that? Do you want to earn more? Trust me, gate is not the answer. Do you want to have a secure future, just focus on your skill. Data engineers will continue to stay in demand for the foreseeable future. In tech, job security is your skill. You are doing good, simplify your life, focus on one thing.
Actually the reason I stressed is that the company I am going to join is again a service based company and not even a know one. That's why I am in this dilemma. If I leave my current job just for money and join this new company will my career be done for? Since my notice period has started I have applied to countless companies both product and service. Haven't got one reply till now. And this scares me that being in TCS is maybe the reason for it and what will happen if join a lesser known service company. That's why I am skeptical.
Also, making money now is not the only factor for me. I have realised that having money is just a byproduct. So, i don't want to be that my only decision maker now. I want to work for good companies with good teams and good work where I can contribute and learn. The money will eventually come with this.
Giving GATE is not a good idea if you want to remain in tech as a swe/data engg. Work, gain experience in an area, that will take you much further. Which company are you moving to? TCS is fine for the first few years, not more than that.
I don't want to name the company but it's not very well know - is service based. I have completed 2 years at TCS. GATE is appealing to me because I want to experience good education from good institutes that I was not able to do in my undergrad.
If its a service based company, then its not worth it. Study and switch to a product based company. I will still say that unless you are looking for something specific like machine learning, or research, don’t go for mtech
you are more stressed because you are in a transition phase.It can be stressful for many of us because of the uncertainties ahead. There will be times when you will feel you made the wrong decision but take my advice and don't look back, don't ever look back. Instead, keep improving your skills and keep moving forward. I understand you have seen a lot, I cannot even imagine how hard it was for you but don't lose hope/faith. It is only going to get better. Have trust in yourself, you will go much farther.
Thank you. Your words mean a lot as I am not a very social person - so I have never had any experience of getting my problems acknowledged without having to give back somthing in return. I am sorry if this sounds strange but thank you.
Congrats on making this far, champ 🏆 It's pretty clear, and will make it for you as well. Your risk (family and their dependency) is very high and you can't avoid it. Balance it out by doing the daily job at TCS. Don't resign, take it back. It's a necessary drug. Then are your dreams. If it's so imp and you are craving like a dying man, then spend your nights on it. Who told you to make a decision of either?? Do both.
Thank you for this. Should I deny the new offer in that case? And prepare for other better places?
Switch, if you want. But don't leave industry. Do whatever otherwise. That's the point.
Are you good at studies ? Do you enjoy studying,, or do you just treat it as a means to a end ? Do you top your exams ? If so GATE/higher studies is not a bad choice for your to take. I am guessing you are now in reasonable financial shape, and you can afford two years of education ? Also explore going abroad. You will make a lot more money, and it will open your mind to a lot of things.
I was not able to crack JEE so by the Indian societal standard I am average. I love learning and I was good at studies in college - ranked amongst higher scorers but that was local private and average college and so as my peers and teachers. I was not born with exceptional intelligence. But I learned everything I know from the fear of not being able earn for my family. But now I love learning and that's why I was preferring GATE because that may open new and better doors for me and instill a confidence in me that I never was able to gain. I'll not be able to afford MBA from IIMs (I'll have to go for a loan) and neither going abroad. Half of my full 2 years income is already spent on my house's repair after decades and my sister's wedding. And ofcourse the daily expenses. But I was still able to totally save 1 year CTC. Reasons: I don't go out - neither my family - we are very conscious on what we are spending on. I don't even own a personal laptop and I haven't bought anything for myself yet in two years. I try to save everything - that's the main concern for us. I don't have any relationship - neither I see myself in getting into one soon because my main concern is my family right now - especially my mother for whom I am doing all this and still it won't be enough for what she has went through for us. Even if I save everything for life - I won't be able pay her debt. That's it. So, that's why I only see GATE as the option - if I decide to do masters in future.
Okay.. I am not in your feild, but check with others in your feild if higher education will open doors for you in product based companies that you cherish. (my guess is must likely yes).. if you had a money cushion for 2 years, then it would have been a easier decision. As for TCS vs company#2, do you know what you will be working on in company #2? If it sounds more interesting I would go for it. If not I would still prepare for gate and join (either iits or iisc) in next academic year. IMHO you would likely get a job when you finish your higher education.. and 2 years worth of not earning is not going to set you back a lot in life.. so would suggest going for it esp if you get in in a good college. Best of luck..
TC ??
Current: Between 7L and 8L Offer: 14L
Chill ,go for it. Work hard n also leetcode hard n switch to product based. Effort always pay sooner n later so put in both your ofc work n in your learning. All the best
This too shall pass.