Few years back I met with an accident which costed me dearly as my homonal balance got titled the shit out Had my blood test & testosterone level came out to be around 200 Ng/dl which I know is very low and I am already on biyearly injections recommended via my doc But holy shit my mental health is literally upside down constant depression no motivation to do anything constantly forcing out myself to make the ends meet Gaining weight and all that etc repeated reminders to end life lol. I used to be athletic person once had represented my state level in sports in college but all those hobbies got lost Also since I am working at amazon so expected shitty wlb 60-80hrs weeks while chasing down promo and what not half of my team got laid off aswell in so already working their part of shit Being an L4 so also being scared of pip sacrifice but since job market is so shitty idk I will ever get to switch lol I have no friends no one where I can seek mental shelter I don't know what to do How I can make my life happier like other people ? My condition is very rare I don't see any hope seems like this would be my state in future aswell Sorry for ruining everyone's diwali with this post but I am lonely this year with same depression thoughts
I’m sorry to hear that, OP. I’m happy to help you in any way I can. I think the best way to resolve your situation is to try and focus on your health first. Your low testosterone makes everything worse for you, so I would try to encourage you to raise it naturally and eating healthier. Get the basics down and see if you can’t incorporate something like weight lifting into your fitness routine to help build up more testosterone. You could try going on FMLA from Amazon and using that time to wait for next year to pick up; Amazon is a toxic dump of a company and the layoffs have put you in a harsh position of having to carry other people’s work just to keep your job. You may have some luck in jumping ship in the market depending on your YOE, but you’ll have to try and ride it out until next year to do so. In your case, I would maybe try asking for a voluntary severance to leave and ride it out until next year, but that may not be possible without putting yourself up for PIP. Lastly, I would try and find some way to appreciate yourself every day; even if it something’s small such as going out into nature or showing gratitude for what you’ve accomplished. Good luck, OP! TC: 105K
I agree I do love the work here like I said since I am kinda alone in my team so got alot of responsibility and and working on quite complex problems ... But I wonder every time is it even worth with cost of my health ? People mostly say since it's my early years I should be experiment and be ready for sacrifice but I don't know anymore
It isn’t. You can easily make that time up later. Your health and mental well-being come first, and a garbage company like Amazon doesn’t deserve your best effort. The main focus should be getting better and fixing yourself up for the future, especially since these health problems are only going to compound as you get older.
Sorry for what you're going through. I suggest to seek professional help. Find a therapist and talk to them
You are stressed out. Take a jog, don’t end your life. Enjoy failures. They teach a lot just like Amazon you see!
yeah seems to be like it planning to join gym in December after these holidays but idk I would be every consistent there
Why don't you talk to a therapist first about you mental health.
I will give it a shot but I also want the steps to improve myself on my own but can't make up on it properly
Yes. Talk to a therapist. It helped me. Let me know if you need recommendations.
Health first work later. Understand that even if fired you will have a path back to a healthy life. It may or may not exactly be able to see how but that is ok. Been through many ups and downs just keep going. Once you have that in your head. Relax and focus on your health. Do some real FMLA if you need it now.
context my health s**wed me over and I physically could not continue and mentally could not focus and my deliverables dropped over time. Took multiple time off to claw back my health. Mental focus returned and am doing well at work now too. So gotta start w your foundation which is you.
thanks for advice I might try this ... Problem is even in my org there is no-one to guide me ever since I joined just a lonely L4 alone under my manager lol doing whatever to deliver things
You have any money saved up? It sounds like your job is eating you alive. Maybe try looking for a more normal job that respects your work/life balance. Good luck dude, I hope you find that fire inside
yeah I do seems like it I might make a switch next year I guess
Yes. I’d recommend moving to a low stress workplace like a WITCH company. This way a lot of your stress would be gone and you’ll still have something to keep you occupied and motivated.
What accident my friend?
Car , my stomach & lower abdomen was quite fucked up had 2 operations after it to get my shit sorted
I hope you feel better. May allah bless you :)
I was at the very bottom this summer but antidepressants helped, I recommend psychiatrist. With psychiatrist paperwork you also can take 3-6 months fmla at amazon
Talk to a psychiatrist and get escitalopram, it’ll do wonders
I like going on road trips alone with my bike but that hobby seems to be dying out aswell as my work is eating up my life