It just hit me today as I was going through old photos and remembering college years that I was human once. I am not an alien now by the way in case you're wondering :) - I miss not worrying about work or TC - I miss not looking at stocks charts 1000 times a day - I miss going out with friends spontaneously - I miss not making plans weeks in advance - I miss not having to work around 10 schedules - I miss not having expectations when connecting to people - I miss getting randomly introduced to roommates friends - I miss the livelihood of the college gym (away from calorie obsession, fitbit centric experiences, and fake selfies) - I miss not overthinking small or even important things - I miss not caring about my bank balance nearing zero - I miss not knowing the level the Dow is at - I miss my 1500$ car and the excitement it brought me - I miss going on unplanned trips - I miss being excited around Thanksgiving, Christmas. - I miss being truly engaged when seeing new people, when a friend jokes, when a girl smiles back, etc. - Damn it I even miss not getting worried when stuck in some airport during a blizzard and not having to notify manager, reschedule meetings, and later work on deliverables from plane - I miss having time to read a book without necessarily chasing a purpose like improving Tech knowledge, finances, one's self - I miss getting drawn to unplanned experiences - I miss ending up in new cities talking to strangers - I miss checking my phone 4 or 5 times a day - I miss playing team sports Instead, recently it has been mostly about TC, adding a couple of billions to Bezos' portfolio, and clueless people all of a sudden obsessed with politics. TC: I know the drill but will feel sick if I provide it, sorry YOE: Same NW: Same Age: Same Sorry for the rant fellow Blinders. Interestingly, i am not depressed (well I hope so at least) and feel blessed in many ways but I feel the change has been real for me over the years and not sure it has been to the best. Maybe it is just life. Hope you've been excited about what you've been chasing, whether it is TC, family, FIRE, vacationing,...
As a fresh grad, completely agree
Depression is like recession. Hard to tell in the early stages. I think you should consider leaving Amazon and take a less stressful job (LI /SF is amazing for WLB). Possibly relocate to a different state or at least a different neighborhood/apartment. Focus on family/workout and things that bring you happiness. Limit your “market check” to one hour in the morning using the apple “screen time” or similar control features.
Amen regarding Amazon (work in progress) and crossing my fingers mine ain't a recession! Let me check if Android has a good screen time feature/app
The digital well-being app on Android is a real help, even if it's a bit of a gutcheck at times. If your situation allows, maybe a (safe) change of scenery will help? Certainly did for me
Oh and forgot, hang in there! You’ll be okay! 🤗
thanks! Appreciate it! TBH i feel okay but want to feel more alive, lots of energy now but less living the moment..
Damn well said..feels like another world ago and it’s not even pure nostalgia
going to school this morning, thinking about the halo all nighter you're going to have with the boys afterwards, making $0 and thinking more about your high school crush > working from home this morning, thinking about 2021 H1 priorities for next PSC cycle and what the kids should do this weekend, making $400k and thinking more about switching jobs
Missed it enough I cut half of those obligations. It's helped some, but not much: while I've found a way to cut, I haven't found a way to replace. Sure, I'm no longer focused on making someone else gazillions for no reason, but the environment, people, and care free view still aren't the same.
Really great point here. Not the biggest fan of Jordan Peterson, but one of the things he said that stuck to me is that “many ppl think our desires are material when in fact they are immaterial”.
@Oracle, curious which ones did you cut? @Amazon, not the biggest fan of him either but he has a good point
Beautiful post. A rare thoughtful post on Blind... well done OP. I hope you shake things up. Kinda lame but for me playing sports competitively again reignited a lot of that meeting random people and not talking about comp lol
How often do you hang out with them outside of competition though? I've met people through sports etc but then I only ever hung out with them at the court.. never transitioned into a non sport relationship 😢
That’s a good point. For me after about a year we started to get drinks after a little but not too much. But we always had good banter on the court haha ( all that I cared about ). I think for the true meet up hangout it has to be through people you know. I went to a couple school meet ups in my city. Never really cared about my alma mater, but I liked the people and it sparks a lot of good convos when I see them again ( I hope you have a medium like that ) Keep in mind, these are things I’ve had to do really actively. My default is do nothing and go on hikes on my own haha. To be recreate the things I enjoyed about being younger I have to be really pro active about putting my self in those communities
Man. This hit me HARD :’(
Same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same
Man... feels like you read my mind 🙂
indeed
Mannnnnn I feel the exact same way 😣