If big tech was fast food…

In light of today’s “holiday” Microsoft - McDonalds Many of us grew up with it, but then we learned it was terrible for us, so they spent the 2010s reimagining themselves and now it tastes like nothing Apple - Starbucks A marketing engine and cult following that masks a concerning decline in quality Amazon - Costco Food Court Frugality. Where else can you get a hot dog for $1.50 along with a 60-pack of toilet paper rolls? (Alternate for Amazon - IKEA Food Court. Suspiciously cheap mystery meatballs. All the products are foreign and are named something like WIHOLL or BSTOEM) Netflix - Chipotle Pioneered a new business model (fast casual), but now there are 10 clones in the same strip mall and it’s lost its luster. People who consume frequently are sad and depressed. Google - Jamba Had a great run in its heyday, but everyone eventually realized it wasn’t health food—it’s a sugary concoction that will give you diabetes. Meta - IHOP Remember when they changed their name to IHOB to generate publicity because their business was swirling the drain? IBM - Wendys Old fashioned recipe. Only thing keeping it alive is Red Hat, the spicy meme Twitter account. Zoom - Crumbl Cookies Suddenly exploded during the pandemic, but after trying it, you’re not quite sure why this was the product that everyone seemed to flock to.