Just laid off with 50k+ total debt single earning family. Declare bankruptcy? Help!

New / Eng wvsI34
Nov 23, 2019 533 Comments

No degree, just laid off 1.5 YoE prev TC 90k east coast.
Roughly 11k personal loan for bootcamp, 10k on car, 35k credit cards.

I supported my family on credit cards while I attended bootcamp. What the hell do I do? 80% credit utilization. Desperately need a job, anxiety makes it hard to focus on interview prep, so I am sporadically switching tasks.

I was laid off just after going on paternal leave. 2 kids without insurance. Wife and I are on parents plans. Wife was stay at home mom while I studied.

Edit: this post received so much attention and I am absolutely in shock with how supportive this community is. For those that are offering to refer: THANK YOU! My skills lie in web development, mobile apps, and DevOps. I am most comfortable in JS/TS, node, express, and have experience with angularjs/ react. THANK YOU again.

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TOP 533 Comments
  • Amazon real_bezos
    Only one answer for you.

    “Leetcode”

    And also ask for referrals!
    Nov 23, 2019 27
    • Starbucks CallMePump
      I can only imagine how stressful it is.. hard work pays off man. Just keep grinding on the leetcode and applying everyday. Reach out to some headhunters as well.
      Nov 24, 2019
    • Doximity kknRdv543
      Does your bootcamp have career advisor who can help you connect with recruiters? Mine did.
      Nov 24, 2019
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Fitbit UwsP12
      r/wallstreetbets
      Nov 24, 2019
    • SAP 13371
      Lol, yeah!
      Nov 24, 2019
  • AVL / Eng FCH0P!N
    Do Uber, sell your stuff on the side. Whatever scraps of income you can make till you can get another paycheck. I’m sorry about your situation, that’s extremely rough. Hope you get some better advice than me but that’s probably what I would do.
    Nov 23, 2019 1
    • Microsoft / Product
      Brazuka

      Microsoft Product

      PRE
      Bain & Company
      Brazukamore
      Best advice here
      Nov 24, 2019
  • Braze / Strategy
    strataG

    Braze Strategy

    PRE
    Campaign Monitor, MailChimp
    strataGmore
    Why did you have kids?!
    Nov 24, 2019 10
    • Teradata s5050
      At minimal this guys should say sorry for such a stupid question!!
      Nov 24, 2019
    • Amazon iSteveJobs
      This is not a shock for me. Read about the eugenics history of US. According to them poor shouldn’t breed. 😞
      Nov 25, 2019
  • Crew aXFh35
    If there was ever a time to believe in God and start praying for his help in your life it is now. Tell him what you need and want and he’ll take care of the rest. He can’t help you unless you ask so please take that first step.

    Next steps:
    Reach out to all family and ask for money.

    Call all your loans and ask if they can reduce or freeze the monthly payment because you’re out of job at the moment.

    Anxiety is normal in this situation. Accept the feeling and take action to fix the problem ie loss of job and not the feeling. You will not die from your strong feelings. This is not the time to escape your feelings with pot or alcohol or any kind of drugs. You and your family need you to be sober so you can see your problem clearly and tackle it with everything you can muster.

    Don’t be afraid to ask for help but don’t get desperate. Get bold, get humble, assertive, and get into prayer. Take care of yourself and your family. Take action to deal with the problems.

    Best wishes! I’m praying for you!
    Nov 24, 2019 9
    • Wayfair Jess!
      😂😂 if the praying worked you wouldn't need to give any other advise
      Nov 25, 2019
    • Nordstrom Mkwv47
      +1 you are in my prayers too. Do what you think is best. Reach out to family and friends you can trust and ask for help. Sometimes things happen for reasons you have no idea. Most importantly, have a plan, don’t give up. Do your part.
      Nov 25, 2019
  • Microsoft redflagged
    Empty the 401k on a hardship, and use it to pay debt. Keeping retirement money is stupid when you owe credit card debt like you do. Same for investments.

    Immediately start driving Uber or delivering for Amazon. You need to have a source of income.

    Your life choices have been poor so far. Two kids, one income, marijuana addition, retail therapy, PTSD, suicidal, real therapy. You unveil more chaos and poor choices with each reply, justifying one after the other. Sorry I don’t sound sympathetic but you’ve created most of your problems yourself. Like most people do.
    Nov 24, 2019 11
    • Microsoft redflagged
      Yes it’s possible to change, but it’s hard when you come from nothing and you’re the one charting a path. No help with college for me, or even writing applications back in 1989. My father was of the “what do you need college for? I didn’t” attitude. Crappy suburban Ohio neighborhood and a little 1200 square foot house but it was a big step up for him. My sister lives with our mother in that house, moved in with her son after the last divorce. It’s just those two now squabbling like they have for my entire life over petty bullshit and drama. They don’t like to visit me much because they think I live in a mansion and lord it over them. Fuck it’s just a Redmond house not even a McMansion but it’s 2700 square feet for 4 bedrooms.

      I’m way off topic but fuck. Those people can still annoy me all these years away 😀. I couldn’t imagine not escaping.
      Nov 24, 2019
    • Google VMFE17
      I get it red flagged, ha! Yeah I come from similar humble beginnings.
      Nov 24, 2019
  • Apple KGHP41
    You do realize credit card debt is the most expensive type of debt? It is next to impossible to dig yourself out of it.

    Consolidate all your credit card debt into one. Drive an Uber and get a job that’ll pay. Flip burgers if it comes to that. Cut costs aggressively and pay down that credit card debt. If possible your wife should also get some job. ANY job is fine as long as it brings in some money. Can the parents take care of the kids? If so you’re going to save money on child care costs. Move in with your family/friends until you sort out your financial situation. You can try leetcode but you should play to your strengths right now and get a job whatever you were doing earlier. 90K is on the low side to support a family but at least it will allow you to stabilize your life until you get higher TC.
    Nov 23, 2019 1
    • Twilio underwtr1
      Figure out who is the spender in the family and give them a hard line "no more". You can't fill a tub if the drain is open
      Nov 24, 2019
  • Amazon / Finance
    cDFM85

    Amazon Finance

    PRE
    Walmart
    cDFM85more
    I was in a similar situation three years ago. My plan was 1) Updated my resume and my goal was 30 job applications every day, Monday to Friday 2) Studied 3 hours daily for a certification. 3) I was not a runner but I ran 5k every day to manage stress while I listened news or education. 4) I drove for Uber 8 hours Monday to Saturday to get some cash for immediate things. It took me 3 months to have a job but it was much better than my prior job. The key is your emotional intelligence. You can do it.
    Nov 24, 2019 2
    • LinkedIn / Eng
      nonsense20

      LinkedIn Eng

      PRE
      Facebook, Uber, Salesforce, Google
      nonsense20more
      Great advice!
      Nov 24, 2019
    • Guidewire / Eng ~ nil ~
      God bless you.
      Nov 24, 2019
  • Microsoft fuckCrpt
    Ask for severance package or go to attorney and sue them.
    Nov 23, 2019 5
    • Microsoft / Product
      Brazuka

      Microsoft Product

      PRE
      Bain & Company
      Brazukamore
      Stupid people think they can sue for anything but it's not how it works
      Nov 24, 2019
    • SolarWinds AnEngineer
      Technically you CAN sue for anything, you just won't win
      Nov 24, 2019
  • Facebook / Other
    lovethez

    Facebook Other

    PRE
    Facebook
    lovethezmore
    Didn't you plan financially before having kids ? Seems like you were too much in debt and not very high on income before you decide to start a family. What went wrong?
    Nov 24, 2019 16
    • New / Eng wvsI34
      OP
      He was talking about the accurate characterization of my life. I've made a lot of terrible choices in life, and he's not being an ahole but is brutally honest.

      My question is... Sunk cost fallacy?
      Nov 24, 2019
    • Facebook / Other
      lovethez

      Facebook Other

      PRE
      Facebook
      lovethezmore
      Never too late.
      Nov 28, 2019

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