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15 years age difference, need advice! 🙏
I’m a single guy in my mid 20s. I eventually want to meet the right person, get married, and have kids. I’m used to seeing the posts about divorce rape concerns and that people getting royally fucked by marriage. But lately I’ve seen a lot of posts on blind from people who don’t want to have kids purely for the reason that they would be bringing them into an “awful” world, reciting viewpoints from r/antinatalist and such. My question to people who have that view is why do you think the world is such an awful place? 1000 years ago our biggest concern would be getting eaten by another animal. 250 years ago doctors had no idea what they were doing and would bleed people out to get rid of sickness. 70 years ago people lived in constant fear of being blown up by an atomic bomb. Today, we have a lot of problems, gun violence, student loan debt, a global pandemic, but they pale in comparison to what generations before us have endured. We’ve made huge progress in lowering violent crime, eradicating global poverty, guaranteeing equal rights for more communities, creating cleaner sources of energy etc. We live in a time where every industry is being revolutionized by technology. 3D printed homes, self driving cars, global satellite network, clean energy etc. It seems like an odd point to discredit all the advancements and say “yeah everything is shit, we shouldn’t continue procreating” just because there’s progress left to be made. I’m in the generation that might live to see UBI or another system eradicate extreme poverty for all. I’ll probably live long enough to see humans go to Mars, end dependence on fossil fuels, and create new medical breakthroughs in genetics to prevent or treat all diseases. I am extremely hopeful for the future. To the antinatalists, what’s your reasoning? Do you have an overly pessimistic view because we are hyper aware of the smaller issues with social media? Do you genuinely believe the future is going to be worse than it is today? What do you hope to do with your wealth and resources if you’re not passing them on to your family? Let talk YOE 2 TC 190k
I feel the way you're describing. I think our society is on a very dangerous path, especially considering that climate change may destroy our civilization as we know it. I don't care to bring children into a world like that, because I'm already fearful of how things will be when I'm old. As for my wealth, I'll leave it to my siblings, or a charity if they have already passed away.
Bring in a part of you and teach them to make world better Dont teach them how and why to make money. But teach them to lead a better life. Let them inspire billions around you. Let the billions take care of everyone next to them. Dont give up before you try
All things considered, doctors still have no idea about what they're doing.
From the day we are born, we run on what is essentially fear to support trivial vital activities. Until we are mature enough to procreate. You are programmed to make more life and that’s it. What is the point? Because making life also brings death. Moments of joy are small in comparison to the moments of pain one will endure. And the worlds resources are finite. As they continue to run out, we will only see more fighting and suffering. Sure we can travel to other nearby planets, but the life on those worlds will never match what it was on earth.
We have it better than our predecessors. Life has always been hard. You’re probably happy you’re here. Your kids will feel the same way. Do what you want to do.
Tell that to the 3 trillion dollar student debt your kids have accumulated boomer!
Not having kids because 1. They are annoying and needy most of the time... Periodically cute but that's by design. If they weren't cute .... 2. They are expensive. I'm much rather spend my money on other things.. So many other things. 3. They restrict what you can do and when.. I travel where I like to where I like and how I like preferably to child-free destinations and hotels. I have no restrictions on dates, times or expense of travels. Every time I see a family traveling with kids it reminds me why I didn't want to have any in the first I am so so incredibly grateful for contraception and the ability to have an abortion as a woman. 4. There is something parasitic in the way that the human body hormonally responds to offspring, It's like you are chemically altered after they are born to just take care of them. It is fundamentally the most selfish thing you can do otherwise why not adopt if you truly wanted to care for a child that needed a parent? 5. I often see parents completely exhausted beyond belief and yet with hopelessness in their eyes; state that they are incredibly happy when all the evidence points to the contrary 6. More than one parent has shared that they wish they never had kids or romanticized the idea of them and then of course feels incredibly guilty for just sharing how they feel. I don't judge but it's a lesson for me. 7. I have seen kids more often than not bored and selfish with their lives even though they have everything or more than they need which just reminds me that I do not want to raise a child. 8. There is not a single stage of raising a child that isn't inconvenient, babies have too many things, kids have too many toys, teenagers are constantly emotionally draining and then you've lost 20 plus years of your life putting up with all of this. 9. I see no joy in teaching a child ABCD's and having to bear the awful nursery cartoons and movies and children's shows. 10. My time after work or before work is my own, I get to go at the gym anytime, eat out at fancy dinners, go to any bar I want to stay out as late as I like and I don't have to fuss about babysitters or rushing home or commuting far from the city because I have to live in a house in the middle of nowhere to raise children. 11. This planet is already overburdened with more humans than necessary and for the most part humans are the worst parasite this poor Earth has ever encountered. 12. My emotional energies my own... I am not exhausted before or after work, my time on the weekends is my own. I don't have to deal with any extracurricular activities or rushing around trying to entertain children. I get eight plus hours of sleep every single night (when I'm disciplined about it) and I have quite a number of side hustles that inspires and motivates me. Most people I know with kids (and without nannies which is the average)are constantly exhausted and barely keeping their head about water at work.. They are definitely not "thriving". They often seem to me like they are feeling like they are "burdened" and held down but now can't speak about it in case they are either judged or shamed. Parents who can afford full time live in nannies seem to be able to live much better. But even then they are"dealing" with some kid drama, it's always one thing after another. 13. Dealing with other kids' parents and teachers meets and social situations you're forced into because of your child 14. I simply do not see the benefit. I honestly could list at least 20 more reasons. Let comments begin...
You're so optimistic. We're getting closer to a total collapse every day.
Why did you post all of this pointless text? No one cares, please don’t have kids
They are just people with deeply held beliefs based upon their own trauma and they haven’t questioned it, so “my life was awful” becomes “The world is awful” and “my offspring’s lives will be awful.” Rudimentary, but very real for them. Probably best they don’t procreate, that’s all. They need to heal.
Irrespective of how the beliefs arose, they should be discussed and looked at closely. With this kind of response, you could wave away things like fair world fallacy with just as much disdain. I do however agree with you that trauma leads people to hold such beliefs with more conviction. That doesn't automatically invalidate these ideas though.
No disdain, just personal experience and wisdom.