Losing respect. I wish I could be normal again.
I worked in the industry for 13 years. And I worked with many different managers. I have a lovely wife and a daughter. I support all of the sentiments and genuine push for more females at the workplace, equal pay, and equal treatment. Recently I have a female manager and working with her I lost all the respect for women (at least as managers). The amount of verbal pressure, verbal misbehave, crazy loud voice drama, anger issues, impulsivity, and poor performance review and increments make me feel worthless. I had to take so many sick time offs in the past to keep up with the job. The stranger silent treatment from her (for days) during work discussion, and during 1:1 she says something and does exactly opposite. It broke all my confidence and destroyed my mental state to a point my home is affected. I never used to be so easily irritated. One thing I admire her is her luck, that she is still able to survive while being so feeling less, full of personal ego, micromanaging, over controlling, cannot see the reality, can continue surviving as abusive and childish, and treating me as if I am a criminal and I am responsible for women suffrage in the past. I used to support her women in network events, as time permits, and with time I was so much over abused that I distanced myself from all events and her in the social setting. I am so broken and crushed, I do not think I can ever afford to work with a female manager in the future. I am still looking for a job opportunity so I can take time to get normal. There have been multiple times in the past I literally cried in front of my wife and talked all about this with my wife, she also suggests finding another job. I just want to do my work, go home, stay with my wife and kids. I am a simple man. I want a simple life.
Why the fuck are you slapping all women managers with your bad experience of this ONE manager who happens to be a woman? It’s obvious you’re angry and looking to justify an opinion that already exists for you. Get some therapy. Maybe if you’re lucky your wife won’t divorce you because of what she thinks of men as a result of learning about one male serial rapist.
I’ve only ever had terrible male managers.
Have some mercy. OP is clearly distressed and not thinking clearly.
It is so easy to switch jobs, you will get some job, you don't have to put up with this. Quit.
Seems like you’re enjoying it, otherwise why didn’t you leave?
Don’t worry, I’ve had the same problem. Although you have a sample size of one, I can add that problematic female managers play a more vicious game. It’s hard to pinpoint it but it’s a combination of back stabbing, passive aggressiveness and being 2 faced. Hang in there, start hunting for a new job and move on. The world will eventually catch up to her.
Agree with everything except the last sentence. Somehow people like this keep surviving and moving up.
Yes, don't worry about whether the world penalizes such people or not.
I had one terrible manager who happens to be female but loads of other great ones: she’s a bad manager.
Life is short. Don’t work with bad people, not worth the stress.
Find a new job. The issues you are having is due to a toxic work environment that could happen even if your manager was a man. Your first priority should always be to your own family and your family needs you to be in a healthy state of mind. It’s ok to be frustrated, hurt and angry right now but don’t let these feelings consume you. You have cried in front of your wife and shared your story here because you are seeking to be understood. The investment in energy and grief you have spent dissecting this toxic work relationship has to stop because while you are drowning yourself in depression, your manager couldn’t care a less and is sleeping soundly at night. You have nothing left to prove or reconcile with this person. Life is short but also all encompassing. Your career is a significant part of who you are but it does not define you. Your achievements in life is defined by the infinitely greater things that you have done and the lives that you have touched. Pick up your dignity and move on. Good luck!
This is the type of response blind needs more of.
I will say in general if you have kids working for a manager of any gender who is Gen X or Baby Boomer who doesn’t have kids is universally bad IMHO.
There are crazy male managers too. I don’t think it does with gender. Seems like it’s time to switch jobs. Complain during exit interview.