I feel I am blessed in a lot of things in life. Had a great childhood, went to good schools, make good money, have great hobbies, blessed with 2 beautiful kids. The only issue in my life is my spouse who is too immatured and at times toxic. She hates all my friends ( especially girls who were my school and college friends ), my mother, sister. Basically any woman around me. She doesn't let my mother around my kids a lot, she abruptly took the child the other day and locked herself in a room all day. My parents have been very patient, they haven't told her or me anything. They are old and it's hurting me that my wife behaves this way. She is loving to me when it's just us and the kids. But I am encouraging when it comes to her family, always respectful and always want my kids to mingle with my in-laws, but she is just the opposite. I just don't know what exactly is the issue, i have thought deeply multiple times, it could be her immaturity or she is evil, i am not able to reason out. It's Killing me everyday. There are only 2 options. 1) Divorce. 2) Adjust and cut ties. With Divorce, I will lose custody of my kids who I love dearly. Plus we don't have a bad personal life ( just the two of us ), but this would mean I can never have a great social life neither have ties with my family. It kills me to see my parents hurting and it is hurting me mentally every single day to see my parents like this yet they don't say a thing. I just wish karma exists in this world and she realises it one day when I am gone, the same fate will fall on her when my son will struggle with his wife. Long rant. Just feeling so depressed, had to share :(
Does she have any hobby? I guess NO coz u r her hobby. Get her busy with other things and people in her life that she starts appreciating ur parent’s support.
She has always hated my parents and my sister. Guess I should have decided about moving on then before having kids. Now I don't know if it's too late.
Not just my family, she hates most women on earth, more so if they are related or friends with me, I don't know if it creeeps because her father cheated on my mother in law. But i cant keep empathizing anymore for her troubled childhood when she has no empathy for how I am feeling
Kahani ghar ghar ki...
Once you cut ties with family, she might behave more aggressively and control you on many other things. Do you really want this?
Yes and I dearly love my parents and my sister, I am not sure how to handle this. Divorce is not a solution I am convinced either, it will not make anyone happy. Neither my parents nor me ( as I don't want to be separated from my kids ). It just feels like I need to suck up and live this life and let her be rude to my parents, just kills me everyday and not being able to do anything about it. Feels like I have failed as a son :(
In the exact same boat, OP can I dm you
Update: things got better for me. If anyone wants to know how, I can DM
That makes no sense. Unless she’s crazy. You have to investigate why she acts that way and try to see her point of view. I have terrible in laws. I am going to divorce my husband because of that amongst other things. He refuses to see where I come from. He also thinks I make no sense even though I told him multiple times, he downplays all the awful things they have done to me. Are you sure you’re not trying hard enough to see what’s happening? Cause it sounds so random to deeply dislike people that did nothing bad to you.
What's her reason to do so?
I have thought about this multiple times, have had this discussion with her too, but I feel its a lot of things, she had a troubled childhood, her parents marriage was pretty brutal ( involved a lot of abuse, affairs, etc.. ). I am not sure what is affecting her, she has her insecurities as well. But I have been patient and have been understanding the issue from her end, but she has very little empathy towards me or my parents and what we are feeling by her attitude
Were these traits evident before the marriage?