Manager 1/1s - Short Rant
My manager uses my one-one-one time to talk about status updates (which we do in stand-ups by the way), which often extends to implementation and other project/deliverables stuff. I don’t want to spend my one-on-one reiterating standup updates. Genuinely, I was afraid to tell him that because I didn’t want to be a “target” for “you know what” so I started preparing Agendas for each meeting (well curated bullet-points to hit every area: work to keep him happy, followed by my agenda for the week/sprint). This went well for one week only but this changed because immediately the one on one starts, he starts asking for updates and to go over the deliverables for the sprint. Work, work, work…..zero room for growth. One time, I just asked him to drive the meeting by asking him, “let me know what you want to discuss”. He didn’t get the hint: I was basically saying, “bro, it looks like you don’t like my agenda, could you please create your own agenda and I’ll go along with it?” I mean, wow. I mean, so much for micro-management. But then again, it’s fair because I for sure don’t even want to know him at a personal level 🧢. Peace ✌️ TC: 200k
I think it's fair to ask for an agenda or list of topics to cover so you can be sure you are prepared.
Definitely. Tried that from my end. Didn’t work. I wish manager could do that from his end but nope. Deliverables all the time.
Be more assertive, 1:1’s are mainly for you not the manager.
Idk how to do that without losing my shit 😂😂. I’ll try.
This is making me feel better. I’m starting as a manager, and I’ve been purely focused on what it will take to make my engineers happy, and facilitate their growth. I ask a single status update, just as a basic demo to show off. Who doesn’t wanna show off a little bit of their hard work? Feed them the praise they rightfully deserve, and then we get back to steps needed to be taken to achieve their goals.
Please be my manager.
I am genuinely looking for a new position. So long as it’s fully remote, I’m game to jump.
I think you need to change your team. Relationship with the manager is very important for one’s growth. It’s like dancing, either you are in sync or not. If not, you go and dance with someone else. Also, there is nothing worse then a micromanager. Given that you are at Microsoft, there is a lot of foisting and exploiting and likely nobody takes you seriously cos of your level. I suspect you are 61-62 based on comp. Correct?
L59 indeed. Lowest of the low. I’m working on switching teams before I leave this company.
hello, can you give some examples of what to talk in 1:1 every week? im lost about what to talk
It's a give and take. I normally start with quick updates they might not know about. I try and get advice on general project direction or which items to prioritize. Then if you are looking for promotion keep light pressure to ask what you need to do. If it's not time for a promotion use the time to get to know each other, it will help you in the future to have good rapport.
Generally, and as an employee, I interpret this behavior to mean that the manager is not interested in my growth and development. Pretty sure he knows what he’s doing. I mean, he’s a manager. Leaving in a few months anyway but damn, can’t believe this will go on for the next 2 months.
How about this? In your agenda, just write down all status updates in advance and then have your growth points available and when you email the manager, jus say that all status updates are already available in the document and you would like to focus on the growth areas in the 1:1
Dude you’re supposed to set the agenda and send it in advance.
Sure but did you read my rant?
Wait really? I know that 1:1s are designed for the employee to discuss how they want to grow their career and what steps they need to take to get to that point. But do people really send a list of agenda items that they want to talk about to their manager? I usually just have everything written down and bring it up during the 1:1 meeting.