I'm currently a senior engineer at a tech company in the Bay Area. Even though I was born in the US as an ABC (American-born Chinese), I've never felt like I fit into the mainstream American culture. It's always been hard for me to make small talk and make meaningful connections. I've always thought that I was just shy, but recently I have been wondering whether this is also partially due to being raised in America as a minority and always subconsciously trying to blend in, which is going against my genetics. Has anybody moved to Asia for life and/or career growth? I can't see myself ever becoming a high-level manager here, but I'm wondering if moving back to my "home" country would change my personality a bit and allow me to progress in my career more (as well as enjoy life more).
Are you sure you can fit-in after going back? There might be some insecurities that you have developed here, but remember that you might be overseeing a lot of things that your mind took for granted being in US. It's never black and white no matter what place you go to. US might have unknowingly become your comfort zone as you grew up here.
If trying to blend in is going against you genetics then I have some bad news about your expectations towards Asian countries (not all but many). Just don't try to blend in. I would actually argue that this would be easier in US than it is in Asia.
I just mean that I'm generally not interested in hyper-masculine culture, working out, American pop music, drinking, etc.
x8op2n you sound like someone who lives online. Go outside and attempt to engage with people in person. The US has 330 million people and a huge number of large and small subcultures. This is really such a simplistic take that I don’t believe you have made a good faith effort to be happy here.
according to friends who moved back to China, they do not have those concerns anymore. On one side, WLB is worse so it takes part of your time unfortunately, but on the other side, life is way more beautiful than the bay area, so many interesting stuff to do. they enjoy life more for sure
Can you give examples of the "concerns" they had and in what ways they "enjoy life more" now?
concerns like your post, being “mainstream”. overall they are happier, find more meaningful stuff to do.
Asia is more crowded and more of a zero-sum game in life: more competition in life and work because of limited resources. That means, if you don’t want to do some job for some reason, there are always way more people that are more willing to do it. Heard of the infamous 996 working culture in Chinese tech ? Even If you don’t have language barrier in Asia, it will still be harder in Asia. Just go live in LA/Flushing. Don’t go “back”
Curious why haven’t you considered moving to Asian-majority areas in North America? Irvine for example, Vancouver. I have not moved back but I imagine adjusting to life in a different culture will be hard. You’ll always feel like a foreigner.
I figured that the Bay Area is already near the top in terms of Asian density in the US. Are Irvine and Vancouver at another level? Would they just be incremental changes, or paradigm?
They would be incremental changes. Looks like you’re trying to escape the culture entirely, what type of culture are you looking to move towards? What specific aspects of Asian culture are you looking for?
Watch this. Voice from your own kind https://youtu.be/vRC3Vyqa3Zs
Aren’t there already lots of Asians in the Bay Area? You can’t fit in?
I'm ABC and half Chinese and it can be hard to fit in with both Chinese people and American culture for me. I find that having one or two important best friends is enough to feel like I fit in. If you feel like China is a better fit, then give it a shot! Why not? Better to have tried than to wait and wonder~
Asia in general is more political, relationship driven, and modestly receptive of those who are “not part of the herd”. Particularly if you can’t fluently speak the local tongue.
You will enjoy life more, not necessarily the work.
Have you made this move? Did you find it easier socially / culturally to be more outgoing and promoted than in the US? I am wondering if my personality would change due to the environment and therefore help my life enjoyment and career growth.