I had a massive argument with my bf last night, and we almost broke up. Fyi, both of us are Indian ,living in the US since 2013. Our visas and PDs (2017) are the same as well. We have been dating since 2020. Also,this topic has been discussed several times, but we could never reach an agreement. He says that he is a law-abiding resident, he has lived here for over 8 yrs, pays taxes, and contributes to the economy, so he must be granted GC without wait and eventually US citizenship. The country quota should be abolished because it is highly unfair. He also strongly feels that H1bs are exploited and the US government is not taking enough steps to curb this. The only way to end this is to eliminate wait times for GC for indians. Now, I am on the same visa, but I don't feel as strongly about the issue as he does. For me, living in the present matters the most. I feel thankful that I got this amazing opportunity to live in this country and enjoy the pleasures that this country has to offer. I don't really bother if I ever get GC or citizenship. further I feel that the country wise quota is fair on some level as it allows the same number of ppl to immigrate from each country of the world (I feel it's important to maintain the diversity else ppl from one country will dominate...but then i may be wrong!) He kept saying that because of the ppl like me who accept visa issue as their fate important bills like eagles act are pending for decades, because of ppl like me with the lack of sense of unity for the cause, millions of Indians are suffering the exploitation. IMO, who you are is more important than where you are. If one is capable and hard working, they can build a life no matter if it's India or the US or EU. I totally respect his pov, but I can not support it. Very soon, the entire discussion turned into a heated argument, and he stromed out of the house. I am not sure what is wrong here? In terms of priority and importance, I have bigger issues in my life to deal with. I just can't spend my energy & time bothering about GC. My pd is 2017, and I know it's a long wait, and I think I have made peace with the fact that I may never get the GC. I want to focus on today, make the most out of current opportunities, work hard ,earn money, travel, and create a safety net. Is that a wrong way to look at things? Is visa everything in life? I totally respect his POV, but I can't agree with it. PS: I am not disappointed in his point of view or his mentality regarding visa issues. I am sad at how he behaved and how hell bent he was to prove that he's right & I am totally wrong and cruel in my approach. IMHO, ruining ones present in the hope of a better future makes no sense. We need to prioritize what we want in life. After the fight, I realized that for some, it's a visa, and for others, it's a good life , enjoying the moment (regardless of the visa status or place). None of us are wrong , it's all about the choices we make that make us happy.
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Wait when you can’t visit your family in need due to Visa situation. When you get stuck elsewhere while your kids are in US with your spouse. Travel restrictions are biggest troublemaker. You realize when you face it.
You can always go back to see your family in need, the thing is people out their US visa above such family situations , again your kids being born in the US doesn’t grant you any special immigration status , is the law
true to an extent. You can always go but can’t come back for maybe a couple of years while your SO or LO are still in the US. Eg. You are going through a renewal, you travel out of the country, the renewal is denied and then lawyers have to file for counseller processing and you need to get a new visa stamped. All the formalities take another couple of months. Then you wait for a visa slot (which btw was taking anywhere from 6months-2 years a few months back). So yea you can visit family but you are also abandoning your immediate family in the US when that happens
Get a life please !!
Your boyfriend sounds like a pessimist and a “glass is half empty” kind of guy. I can see his points about exploitation but he’s also not understanding the rules are clearly laid out. It is what it is. He needs to learn to control his emotions. You sound solid
It is what it is - is the reason exploitation. Yes change must occur and I am fully on board with the boys thinking here.
It’s hard to relate to the bf when the risks are so clear in coming here. He’s not being forced to stay.
“People like you” aren’t the reason legislation is pending lol. No politician is delaying legislation because of people who can’t vote. Once people get citizenship, their toon usually changes on this because suddenly they are competing with the h1s.
I was looking for this comment. Boyfriend was totally out of line throwing his partner under the bus. He just wanted to see her bleed.
@Nike he just needs to wait at most 1 month to see that happen
Is visa everything ? -> If that’s what needed to stay in that country. That country is not just visa but may be dream for that person. Take it easy. Everything will be fine.
Get a new bae
Underrated comment.
This is the way
In my opinion, you have the right outlook, OP. Some things are beyond our control, and dwelling on them only increases our unhappiness.
You are right. Just lock the door, don't let him back in.
Your bf, like many others, seems to be suffering from something called 'Entitlement'.
can you elaborate? what is entitlement in this case? Even China lobbies legally to have laws favorable to them. So if a person is asking that they be treated fairly and invests time in it, is it entitlement?
@Google I’m Indian as well but I don’t think the government should change the rules for my people. If he wants to do something about it go hire some lobbyist, talk to your local government. Saying a blanket statement like “all Indians should get GC” sounds entitled as fuck
Your boyfriend can learn a thing or two from you
This. Your BF understood the system when he moved to the US on a H1B. So much of it is out of your hands and your attitude of making the most of what you have will ensure success.
OP's BF is fighting for a cause he believes in. I think we all can learn something from him instead of just quitting trying and giving up like OP.