I noticed that engineers that are 45+ and at high level (principal+) do not exchange pleasantries on async chat like slack or google chat. Stuff like good morning, good night, thanks, etc. It’s not because they are grumpy or unfriendly, the same people do all of that in the office, but never on chat. My question is: has anyone else noticed this? Or if you are like this, why? If they think it is a waste of time, should I just stop doing it to them so it’s not so one sided? It is in my nature to be polite and it is always exchanged for anyone who is young engineer or any non-engineer of any age. I would have to deliberately remind myself to not do it for these people who don’t reciprocate, which seems weird. Again, these people are polite irl, just not online. To clarify: no I am not just saying hi and waiting for response. No one does that lol. It is literally just a short one liner and then straight to the point. It only adds to the convo, and takes literally 2 seconds to type.
I won't waste time on hi/hellos. Just get to the point. Why waste time. I'd show the courtesy in meets/meetings
Fair enuf. It must be that the older ppl or higher level people really must value their time so much they can’t afford to be polite? I am a senior Eng and very busy too, but I manage to do it instinctually and it does not bother me to do it or have it be done to. Really confused but I guess I’ll never understand since many ppl here are saying the same thing
I really don't feel the need to do that. I actually hate when people say. Hi!!! How are you doing? How is family? They should go straight to the point, grab the answer and go away saying thanks. That IMHO is more polite and respectful of others time.
But what about when u do it and then get straight to the point? It’s literally less than one sentence, and it is just a nice thing to do. It does not detract from time unless you think 1-2 seconds is too much, it’s like holding the door for someone
That's the point. It may not seem a problem for you, but it is for me. You have to respect my communication style as much I respect yours. If you say "hope you're doing fine" at least you are allowing me to ignore you. When you ask me how I am doing, that's already a question for me to answer in addition to the actual question.
https://nohello.net/ Save your hi hellos and other chit chat for your tinder date.
Can u plz explain why? And no it is not like your link, it is always prefacing something work-related and succinct to a task at hand. Is it cuz u don’t like politeness or what? Really trying to understand the mentality
It's not about politeness. A lot of people like to get straight to the point. They get asked a lot of questions from a lot of people thru the day. Exchanging peasantries with everyone means thats the only thing they will do all day.
If you put it in a larger message (e.g. "Hi, how are you? I have a question about..."), then feel free to continue doing so. I personally come from a culture where people are expected to answer questions, so this kind of "how are you" where the expectation is that you either say fine or completely disregard feels extremely insincere and a waste of time, but obviously you don't feel that way. On the other hand, if "hi, how are you?" is your entire message, then fuck you.
I dont use how are u cuz that’s annoying. But yeah it is really just the good morning, good night, hope u had a nice weekend. I think a big red flag for me is when u do something for someone and they don’t say thanks. The rest of it ok most ppl will respond but I can understand if u don’t. But the please/thanks omission always makes me raise an eyebrow
Agree with ^
Busy.... I have been communicating a lot with recruiters the last two weeks, and last night I was reading my emails from the previous week, and they were always short and to the point. I never used to be like this, but as you grow older you start cutting out unnecessary chat out of purely business emails. Also, when you are busy and have a lot of back and forth, and meetings/phone calls, it becomes a necessity. So, it is an age + experience + busy thing. Don't take it personal.
Always ask yourself: "What happens if this message exchange goes viral? Would it make my mom proud? If not, don't." Or: "Would mom be proud of me when getting a meme of this conversation in her chat app?"
Americans should stop the stupid ”how are you” thing in all social interactions. And just cut down the smalltalk by a good 90% in general.
R u a misanthrope
Reply to every message with “I don’t care about you. Show me the code”
If they put it all in one message they can put as much or as little as they want. I'm getting sick of "hey" then waiting for more typing "I have a question" ... "About xyz" ... "Can I ask it?" ... Like just ask me the question and don't make me sit here synchronously.
I’ll be happy with a crisp message with information and/or action item on IM and frustrated when people leave on hello
Don't stop being polite. At the same time never just say "Hi, how are you?" and then wait for a response. That's the worst way to engage some one who is busy. Rather follow it up immediately with your question or reason for engaging.
I never do that, I always have something purposeful to follow up with. I’m busy myself too. But for example, if someone 22-45 (just my experience, I understand this is anecdotal) messages me, they almost always have a small good morning or hi hope you’re doing well or whatever, and I will respond apples to apples too before I give my response to the task at hand. I do the same thing when I initiate, and they do also. Same with ending a convo… have a nice day, have a good night, etc. you get the point. Just thought it was really peculiar how clear the difference is between age and/or level
I have noticed this difference but didn't find a correlation with age group or any other category. I think it's more about personality. I continue to be polite, but concise, regardless.