Recovering from burnout
I have 3 children and have been working for 17 years. Lucky to have a remote job but am getting super burned out. My spouse has a stressful job and can’t work remotely (non-tech) so I also handle the bulk of the parenting work (appointments, sick kids) although they help out with some drop offs and pick ups. Started to feel burned out during pandemic; switched jobs but back to burnout. Quitting not an option as we live in HCOL area and need to save for college and our retirement. Very difficult to hire any after school help at an affordable price. What has helped you keep going when you feel like you are running on fumes? Feel like I have missed most of child 1 and 2’s childhoods and now am missing #3. Tc: $218k
Most companies will only do lip service when it comes to accommodating working parents. When your colleague works late at night, you will immediately be compared and told that you are not performing. What has worked for me is to not Chase TC. Find a job that is low stress, may not be high paying but you will have a life. Also quit learning the latest technologies, instead focus on a domain like business analytics, supply chain, CRM, etc. tech keeps changing but your domain knowledge will make you valuable
Is moving to LCOL an option?
Moving to LCOL and having spouse be a SAHP?
Why immediately jump to the spouse becoming a SAHP and not consider OP themselves? Strange thing to say
Single income household, time goes by too fast, move if you can not afford
Talk to your spouse, not random strangers on the internet. Your spouse is supposed to be your support when you can’t handle all that’s coming at you and vice versa. Talk to them and see how you guys can figure things out together and take some of the pressure off of you for right now, until you’re in a better headspace. The most you try to push yourself, the more burnt out you’re going to be so you need to reach out to your spouse and see what kind of help they can give you
Prioritize things. It is overwhelming at times - especially when the kids are small. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more about it.
How old are you? Generally at 55 you should take the steam off the gas
That’s what titanic captain should have done and we know what happened
Just turned 40
Household TC and how much are you saving a year? Kids can go to community college if needed. You can spend some money on cleaning, child pickups etc... to improve your life. You don't have to sacrifice everything.
I’d recommend moving to a cheaper locale and having one of you become stay at home.
Spend money on a cleaner, cook, grocery delivery. Take care!
A cleaner once a month is more helpful than you might imagine. And you don’t have to do grocery delivery all the time, but maybe every-other trip. The time savings is worth the dough. I don’t know about a cook… cooking doesn’t have to be a huge burden and I hear you about trying to save for college and retirement.
Other spouse should be helping as much as possible, doing things like all the shopping/ordering online for delivery. Change appts to weekends for stuff like dentist and hair cuts. Also prioritize time for yourself for exercise and/or spa or whatever. See where you can cut back at work as well Also, 3 kids in HCOL area with two working parents with not uber high tc seems very hard