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PM Manager, early 40s, married and ENM (Ethical Non Monogamous) AMA
The last decade I haven't gotten anywhere successful in life. Career/marriage/travel/wealth. Just living day to day with stress anxiety, despite enough hardwork to all areas of life. Couldn't get to the US, either via studies (no money) or onsite (no opportunity, holding a job was big deal). Dint find a suitable partner and couldn't give in to the pressure of marrying anyone for the the heck of it either, kept looking and time just passed by. Folks in my age group are somewhat successful in one or all the areas of life. I'm not comparing to them, I'm in my own lane, but I want to move forward in my lane which is not happening at all. Now I'm in my mind 30s and life is gotten no where. I've had patience, I've waited, I've focused on other positives, you name it I've done it all to cope it. See friends posting travel pics Vedios, and i can't even dream of it. To hurt the wound, got rejection from jobs. Ex destroyed my life for a good 6-7 yrs in my prime age. I dint think of my growth, as i wanted to settle in. Now I'm on streets. Im not having a victim mentality here, I'm frustrated for not seeing me move forward in life. I just want to live a Lil bit, want to see my tiny dream come true, when will my life change? What should I do? Tc 0
F?
Does it matter?
By reading your message, I hypothesized that it is written by a F. Just curious to confirm myself.
🫠 sorry to hear that. By any chance can you share how your ex destroyed six seven years of your life... Were there any signs of it when u were in the relationship? Did u compromise yourself to accommodate them in your future? Can slide to DMs if u feel like talking. Hope u find your answers to move ahead💙
DM. I don't have dms left Were there any signs of it when u were in the relationship? Initially no, later yes and then i had to call it off. Did u compromise yourself to accommodate them in your future? Yes, very much. I had given up my growth to accomodate us growth. And now i failed in mine and there is no us.
Quit social media, quit WhatsApp groups. Be ok to spend alone time with yourself. It will be uncomfortable but you’ll start feeling better in 15-20 days. Then things will start changing and you’ll do it yourself. Time heals everything but you have to give time to yourself.
Check check check and check. When I started it was my giving time for everything, now it's my lifestyle now. Been doing it for many yrs now. So what next?
US is shit
I like to have the option to say that myself. 🫠
Microsoft, you hate your company and the US. Move on to a new country and company.
Just chill and grateful that it’s not worse. Settling down and having kids take all your time away while right now you have all the time. Chill bruh 😎
It is been worst sometimes. It's also been ok sometimes. I see you pov from kids perspective, correct. And I am chilling, just not in some island, (for ex for the context) and I'm not able to do that. What should I do?
OP, I’m in the US working at a good job for pretty good pay. I travel a few times a year. Have dated people from different backgrounds and personalities and on paper it has taught me a bit about myself and who/what I want. You’d think I’m doing great and am happy? Wrong, I’m tired of just living for myself. I want a family to care for. But I am an introvert and I don’t have many friends, so it’s hard for me to meet new people. I am not attractive enough for dating apps. I only meet people circumstantially and if it so happens that we meet several times over the course of weeks and months, I connect with them at a deeper level. The process is long and draining. I have had 3 serious relationships like this over the course of 8 years. I don’t know if I have the heart or energy for another one. You wouldn’t believe how much I am willing to give up just to meet someone that wants to be with me for a while.
Except,you are in the states, and 3 rel, and you are not happy despite doing things, rest is relatable. The question is for your context as ex - like how much you are willing to give up to someone who wants to be with you for a while (I dono why you said only while), anyway, when is it gonna happen?
You could try online or offline dating for similar age group people?
Done. People have new definition of relationships, it's either the bis or polys, or situationships or fbois n fgirls or whatever. Seriously asking now what?
You are generalizing here? What's your sample size to make this conclusion?
Sounds like you should use this post to get a US husband
What?
Relax and go easy on yourself, it's part of getting old. As for other things, everybody portrays their best self on dumb websites doesn't mean their life isn't shit. I would recommend pick up a hobby, or a passion and follow it with your heart. Good things happen. Sometimes we just don't see them.
Have picked up 2 new hobbies this yr alone. Keeps me distracted. But where are other good things? (PS - Ofcourse hobby is good thing, I have it, and I'm glad)
May I suggest, try having a heart to heart conversation with the older generation. Not your parents. The good thing here is you get to choose "who". Like who do you see yourself most similar to, who do you think would have been like yourself when they were young. Ask them about their experiences, where they found their happiness or their sad lows in life. Their times might be different, situations might be a bit different but the problems at the crux remain more or less the same. Note - This also is a great way to connect with your managers or seniors and learn from them. You want to go to the US, establish a great rapport with your manager; managers love to have an apprentice and when the time is right ask for that promo or visa. Though resolving that job issue should be your first priority.
Life is not a race with others or even with yourself. Take a step back, focus on the positives, and work on overall improvement :)
Done it. Then what next? Also, where is my results?