Working As L4 SDE amazon for last 2 years I have become A 5 times a day fapping, sad, Obese 25 year old man putting in 80+ hr work weeks. Burnt out by constant Re-orgs, layoffs and manager changes along with PIP threats from Manager when I pushback. Work is meaningless, busy work. No promo in sight Acquired zero skill in last few years writing meaningless fake design docs and churning out shitty java code to meet aggressive deadlines for 0.00001 TPS services. 35+ Lakhs in savings almost, live frugally, no expensive hobbies, no family responsibilities. Should i move back to my tier-5 city parent's house and just recover myself physically and mentally? Parents are sweet and will understand after ofcourse initial hestitation of what will they tell their colleagues and relatives about what their 25 year old son does but will be okay with it ultimately. The issue is also with a metro city like Bengaluru. Over polluted, populated, no same cultural and Traditional values as mine, people have no morality. I am more or a person who relies on community. I have also volunteered, helped and taught the less fortunate, even today i donate 5-10% of my salary to some trusted organisations in my hometown. At my hometown i feel Happy, motivated and more in tune with myself and not forced to mingle with fake people i don't like. I have no life, no club habits, no smoking, no drinking , no hobbies, no gf to feel the need to live alone in a small bedroom in a metro starring at a blank off-, white wall All my life i lived in 20 marla , majestic home of my parent's with rooms as big as the entire flats in bangalore and suddenly i have to live in these shitty 3 bhk sharing it with people who crib about how the electricity bill has increased because i leave the lights on sometimes accidently How bad is the market in India if i want to take a gap of 6 months to 1 year ? Maybe i will try to recover from damage of last few years and upskill myself, refresh my knowledge DSA, system design again and learn new frontend and backend frameworks + languages or even LLM/AI. Can i get any remote job which can pay me like with 20-25 thousand rupee a month to fund my monthly living expenses if i do wanna back to. Hometown. Anyone got any tips on how to get such a job? I used to be very outgoing, fit, happy go lucky kind of guy with lot of true friends, dated 4 girls in college and high school years. Don't know where it went wrong. Honestly just wanna end it by giving a hug to the rooms fan with a rope Any other suggestions? Has anyone take a gap year recently with my YOE? tried taking 2 week leave from work, joining gym, no fapping - can't stick to anything and nothing helped. I guess i am loser with no will power. Working hard throughout school , college and work seems to have burnt me out and completely taken away my joy for life Sde1 Tc 26 LPA 3 YOE
I took for the exact same reason. It's like me talking, exact same story L5 sde, DM If you want to talk currently 6 month of gap xD on resume
How's the response you're getting from recruiters when you interview to join a company after career break?
Just started, till now no one is asking much on career gap The main problem is my previous high salary
You are feeling the things which people feel around 40. I can totally understand this situation and your mental state. I would say just take a break. Go for some solo tour , explore the world , get recharged and come back to work. With this situation, sooner or later either you will hit depression or PIP. With PIP, eventually you will hit the depression and none of those things are worth it. Try something other than Amazon after your break and see the change in your attitude.
I can relate to almost all of what you mentioned. Short answer : yes, take a break. But don’t use it to just disconnect, rather take some time out to evaluate on what had happened. Look back at what was going on, what were the things that you wanted differently and if there was anything else that you could have done retrospectively. Going ahead, know what to look for and what to avoid. You’re too early in your career and it’s okay to be overwhelmed. Take your time.
Why not switch companies ? What will you do at home? You will start getting bored after some time. I will suggest to shift home. And start preparing to switch to another company to get out of pip shit. But prepare slow and take your time. But breaks are worth taking, I have not taken officially but I mentally checkout like doing the bare minimum
No time to prepare with insane work load Also, my confidence is destroyed. I feel i was just lucky to get into amazon. But, main thing is i don't know my Purpose in life
Take a sabbatical stating medical reasons. Go to your hometown, keep fixing physical and mental health as priority 1. Seek therapy if that works for you. Realign your goals and start taking small but consistent steps to achieve them. You'll make it eventually, a few months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It's a marathon, not a sprint brother.
Thanks for your kind words good sir
Utilize your FMLA benefits mental health is fmla eligible
Not available for India
Just take a break from your current job. Go to native. Trust me man its worth. You got into amazon so you can get into almost every company in india. Try applying for long term leave sighting health reason , if not simply resign. Spend few months with your parents then again re apply to some remote roles. There are plenty of remote roles. If not remote roles try applying to flex roles in which you can work from pune / bangalore for a month, then work from native for a month . Even i dont like this bangalore and soon moving to pune or remote.
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Please take some break and get out of the shit show. You can do better and a break will give you a restart. Career gap is completely fine. Go home, stay with parents and live some life. You will get another job later when you want.