Stalled Marriage
(Reposting based on suggestion in general topics) It wasn’t a thriving marriage to start with but we both respect each other and give each other space. Mostly we have been just burnt out and exhausted from work all the time that we barely found energy to invest in growing our relationship or common interests. #marriage #relationships Now we have a baby also - it’s been absolutely zero sex now, and although we each pull our weight, we feel under appreciated. We barely talk and even if we do it’s about chores and baby. Is this normal for new parents to be distant and disconnected from each other? When will it get better? #parenting #workingparent #relationships Note: We have a nanny to help during working hours, a cook and cleaners. TC: 350k YOE: 10y
Your tc not that high to be that busy even after cook, nanny, cleaners.
"It wasn't a thriving marriage to start with". What made you going so far? And why the sudden realization?
Let me explain - by thriving I might be referring to ideal couple who have common interests and do things together and be there for each other in ways movies show. I suppose that’s unrealistic. All this while I had friends to fill my cup of joy on things my partner wasn’t interested in. After kid it’s been a tough journey to do the same with friends (esp since kid is too young and needs us)
you need to have some activities not involving her that also bring you joy, like riding a bike, hikes etc
A cook and nanny?
You have to keep going out for date nights. I heard long ago and I personally think it's true, you're either going to spend the money on date nights, or on marriage therapy
I would say spend on both, and on hobbies and on help around the house. All combined still less than what divorce costs.
Cheat once. If you feel bad, stay in the relationship. If you don’t feel bad, get a divorce. Don’t make the child grow up in a home without passion and love.
Don’t listen to adkv30. Make your child grow up in such a home where he learns life reality first hand.
Do her Indian style.
Do both want to better the family life or nah
We do! From a high level we both do what’s best for the family and each other. The area to improve is communication, and showing interest in each other and finding things which are fun for both of us. Sadly definition of fun is different for both of us. And it takes too much energy to step up and show up for one another in areas that do not interest one to begin with.
Seek joy elsewhere too. Have a full life. Don't seek joy through your spouse. That's the recipe for sorrow.