My husband and I are in our early 30s and we found out a few weeks ago that we are having a baby. Ive always wanted a child, and the time has finally come! I grew up having very little parent- child interaction because my parents always needed to work. This made me want to be a stay home mom until about child is atleast 2 years old, then sending to daycare and returning to work. Currently my TC is about 250k, higher than my husband’s because I am in tech and have more yoe. I believe he is able to double his TC in about 3 years or so. But for now our household TC is 450K. We live in NYC area so our cost of living is pretty high. If i quit my job after maternity leave, our household income will be cut in half. I want to be a stay home mom but i am worried my husband’s income will not be enough. What is the wise decision here? Quit job after maternity leave for two years and live on a tight budget or hire nanny and return to work after maternity leave and forget my wish to be a stay home mom? Any advice welcome. I know there is no right answer, but would really like to hear ppls thoughts #parenting #workingparent
If you get a nanny be prepared for your child to call them mom, that's a hard tradeoff for some people.
Also nannies are in my experience notoriously horrible in NYC, this is from observing them on the streets and having 2 kids myself. So be picky if you go that route, my wife was full time mom.
This would break my heart. Thanks for your input
Just follow your heart .. money can be made later but not lost time .. you might realize that a year later you might want to get back to work instead of two .. you might still want a nanny at least for a couple of hours even though you are at home.. else it will be just exhaustion .. you might want to check if fb offers sabbatical where you can come back to your job or something related when you return ..
TY!
I can see both the sides of the argument. My wife is not the stay at home type. She wanted to get back into the job mode soon after the kid was about 3 months old. If you want to stay with the kid/kids in their early formative period and spend say 5 -7 years of your life with them for your fulfillment, then all the power to you. If you are not the type who will compare yourself with your peers who have gone ahead in those 5-7 years then you can get the best of both worlds. If you do compare yourself, then you will feel bad that they've gone ahead.
Agree, stay at home parenting isnt for everyone
If being a SAHM is important, I say do it. My wife wanted to be one, and now 3 months in she is itching to get back to work haha. While on maternity leave I think you will realize what you really want
Maybe ill be the same 🤣
New borns sleep a lot. So you could do some contract work during that time
Def an option
I was in your shoes in the Bay Area. I was ready to quit once the baby came. But then I gave myself time, found a great nanny. Worked it out with my manager that I worked remote and was able to be home for all milestones and grow my career. At the end of the day, it's having the right support system. You can have it all only if you have the right support at work and at home. Congratulations!!!
Im so glad this worked for you, and that there are ways to get around!
Keep working.. talk to your company and you should be able to work part time. I know my manager worked part time 20 hours a week in workday.
First off.. congratulations! These days with most companies having Full time Remote, why is this a big concern. Many companies have great maternity policies. I promise you.. you are not going to make history having a baby and working after a few months. We raised kids with full time in person jobs with good nanny home day care where there was good amount of kids interaction and aligned with our values. Trust me, you'd want to get a break from constant parenthood. Now with wfh, you can have best of both world. Hire some help who can deliver care while you work for a bit. Take your necessary breaks for nursing as needed from the convenience of your home and continue. But I also respect your opinion to be a full time mom. We tried but decided that's not for us. We wanted to stay engaged and ensured kids had good options and interaction.
Ive heard from many that even being full time remote, you really cannot spend a lot of time with your child. But hey, it might work out.
Yes it is not perfect but so much better than those of us who struggled through early morning drop off, kids crying, adjustment and bringing back infections. WFH + Maternity benefits combo is sweet Anyways 3 months are off. New moms can choose to extend. These days team mates and SDMs are so cautious dealing with new moms and very accommodative about their deliverables. So not a big deal in my opinion but everyone's ability to deal with stress is different. OP needs to decide for herself
I would say, if your husband can get a remote job, you can move to other cheap cities and save more Plus If you can get a remote job with very less work ( there are jobs for 100k where you need to just work 5-10 hours a week ) you might be able to manage too
If you are in NYC area, easy way to compensate the reduction in salary is moving out of city and going to suburbs. If your husband can commute for 2-3 days. That helps you with cost wise as well.
This is great advice, thank you