Namaste I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday! Wow! The email that came from my Office the other day, Marketing decided to do some A/B testing and approached me with some cool ideas while I was on the G jet returning from Cancun. “I guess” I said, “ok cool!” And next thing I know, emails are getting sent out to All Hands about “layoffs will continue” without being first inputted into Bard for sentiment analysis AND now Verge won’t stop asking my PR team for comment; simple URL checks on the links embedded were also not conducted prior to its release. I am truly sorry for all this. My engineering leaders informed me that even though the email was sent from a “no-reply” distro email account, we actually received a lot of replies and comments back. This overloaded a few dedicated servers in our Colorado data center. I’m going to have to take the G jet to investigate. While there, I may ski, and stay in a prestigious resort. Please keep up the hard work while I am away. I want you all to know, I take full responsibility. I will make sure beta versions of the future WiFi 10 are enabled with Bard AI and GCP-powered to include sentiment analysis be conducted on all company-wide emails going forward. I will be sure to deploy this tech in my Office and every home when ready, for the future state of Google, and for planet Earth. To be G is to be visionary, and the vision for G, from the G jet flying over the Grand Canyon right now, is stunning. One that highlights our future potential! We are all on a flight path, everyone should have a good time, and live prestigiously. Please be safe and well this weekend. All the best. TC (pre-layoffs): $227 M TC (post-layoffs) $234 M * [+$1 M after last cuts]
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Plot twist: op really is him
No love for Sundar, onto the next one
Was this generated by Bard or ChatGPT?
GPT because it is actually funny 😂