I am a low performer. I have been always. For the last 8 years. I got almost pipd in amazon, my first company. Got fired in a startup, the second one. And now I am working as an avg/below avg at Uber. I have seen only one promotion in my life. I want to change this. And I am ready to do anything (most of things) for it. Right now the stress (I get stressed for asking help, for manager 1:1s, sprint planning), anxiety are stopping me to do many things. Tell me the stuff which helped either you or someone in your connections. Thanks, that's the post. TC 250K
Getting over your anxiety will be a discipline thing. It’ll take effort, but you have to make the first steps. Everything else will follow. Your manager should be there to help you improve your performance, and offer you concrete steps on how you can improve. Both of you will benefit from your improvement as an engineer.
If u are really only a low performer because of your anxiety, go get a therapist Otherwise you are really good at bullshitting your way into your tc so far so im so jealous
This. If anxiety is really the cause therapy will go a long way.
Let me share the update in 6 months
Why do you / your manager think you are a low performer? Are you able to complete your tasks with or without some help? When you need help, what kind of help do you need mostly? Is it more around internal systems? Is it in understanding of some one else's code? Is it difficulty with understanding design or designing systems? Learning new tech? If you can give some time to think about what mostly makes you believe your performance is low then other people can comment on what helped them tackle that specific aspect. Regardless of that you should talk to therapist to help with your anxiety. The fact that you made it to Amazon and Uber makes me believe that you are decently good and if not more. Just because you almost got pipped or fired doesn't make you any less than most pwople. There are a lot of factors outside what you can control so don't let the past control how you work today and in future. Good luck!
Thanks for this answer. Mainly it's the internal tools/ knowledge I need the help with. It's like if there was someone who would answer my questions, I would do good. In that context, I'll also make sure I wouldn't ask the same questions twice. In my head I crave for a mentor. I have always been a solo player. My peers easily make friends with others and collaborate with each other. Sometimes I too stressed to even wake up and then the lagging work keeps lagging more and I end up missing deadlines.
It sounds more like 1. Anxiety 2. Feeling lonely at work 3. The two factors contributing to lack of confidence which feeds the other two even more. It is a vicious cycle. Please work with a therapist for anxiety and work with your manager to find you a mentor in the team. Propose to your manager that you have identified that what troubled you most of the time is internal tools and maybe there is lack of documentation etc, and it would be helpful to have someone to mentor you on that. You should also look for a mentor outside your team so you have someone without all the bias from the team. Bias goes both ways - from you and towards you. The fact that you are able to identify the bottleneck is a great step! You are already doing great. Keep at it. You got this.
I feel you OP, I’m probably in the same boat. Sometimes we underestimate ourselves, I’m sure you’re not a low performer. I’ve been an average performer all my life and now this new manager wants me to “lead”. I bombed an interview yesterday and just feel miserable. Sorry for the rant, but I feel you, this too shall pass!
It sure will. We are going to give a hard fight
Big fucking deal. Don't show off, do it for 10 years and then talk
Lol. How far in years I am behind you?
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Are you a senior? 250k is like new grad tc?
I am a mid level engineer.
Why are you rubbing salt on the wound Bloomberg? He mentioned his Yoe, performance and no promotions. 250k is still pretty good in that case.