Tried to make a shift from Pre-Med to IB for 4 years. Verge of giving up. Here’s my story.

#miscellaneous My background: Double Major in Bio and Psych from GW 3.8 GPA. Plan was to attend medical school. unsure if that was my decision or due familial expectations...but being the oldest child...in a first generation family that dedicated their life to give us a good education: I wasn’t going to let them down. Excelled in High School. Got into GW. Full Ride. Barely enjoyed undergrad...basically lived in the library. After Graduating: -I didn’t feel my application was strong enough for a top medical school -Decided to take a gap year and do clinical research at a major research hospital (MGH) with an NIH-funded lab. quickly worked my way up from just a data entry / coordinator to ultimately authoring a NEJM publication. - TL;DR: -my goal in medicine was to be a surgeon. I had no intention in any other field. -Never was a good test taker; did poorly on the MCAT...and before I could attempt again, they revamped the entire test... -depression / anxiety kicked in and I began drinking...a-lot. -Only later realized, I was drinking to focus due to un-diagnosed ADD dx..alcohol helped me concentrate At this point, I just wanted to earn. Opted to leave MGH and drop med school (the pressure was unbearable. So I pursue finance / IB. -I was confident I could learn the concepts / skills. I self studied and did just that. -Moved to NYC, and even got a 2 year certificate in Finance from Columbia...Literally only for the brand name—though it’d help with the transition - 2020- Covid hits. No job. My grandfather passes away. Convinced myself, everyone’s going through this...nbd..but in reality I was too anxious to even open linkedIn 2022- Still no job. Nothing even close. Stress and anxiety. Feeling lost. Nov 2022- I got into a major car crash; was trying to overtake 4 cars, going 100mph, hit a stone wall in order to not hit another car. no one else hurt—I should’ve died on the spot..I truly don’t know how I didn’t. Divine intervention. -left me with just 2 broken ankles somehow but bedridden for 8 months. - Got myself up / fully recovered and landed a very small no-name IB internship (unpaid). -been doing that for about 2 years I Learned alot. -Had first hand experience / direct client interactions / basically handled everything from investor outreach to modeling, DCF to capital raises worth almost $200M from big name Developmental Funding Institutions (IFC, DFC). Unfortunately, the role was strictly commissions based and none of the deals closed. Ive had no source of income for almost 1.5 years..and I just can’t go on any longer. been applying / trying to break into any IB / finance role for the last 2 years...gotten no where. Can’t even land an interview, i’m sure its bc 1) i’m not a recent grad / non-traditional af candidate 2) no big name internship on the resume Now I’m just exhausted. Lost. Verge of just giving up entirely; just driving uber and call it. Going through all this—only for it to end like this is...not fair. And I hate making that excuse. It’s either that, or I’m about to say fuck it and fake everything cause the system right now doesn’t give a fuck about hard work. Net Worth: $11K