Due to lockdown and in the last month switching to living by myself after my roommate left, I found myself unable to do anything. I've been depressed that some of my closest relatives are anti vaxers, and tried to convince me to not get the vaccine. When I went ahead to get it anyways, they say they tried but now is mentally prepared for me to drop dead any day. All the work I've done in the last month combined can probably be done in less than a week. My daily routine has been staring at the computer, tries to code but gets distracted by my anguish with politics and imaginary arguments with my mom. I spend alot of time aimlessly on youtube reddit or slack. Then when I finally feel like I'm ready to code, I would feel hungry or tired and end up eating and taking a nap. I feel like I sleep for a total of 12 hours through out the day rather than the7 hours I usually sleeps. I can feel my health deteriorate as I don't eat healthy and is lacking exercise, I've started developing a headache that's further affects my ability to concentrate. Everyday the only thing I can do is force myself onto my desk, but I would sit on the desk all day without producing anything. My manager has been supportive and suggested that I go to modern health which I did. They suggested alot of things I've already tried but did not help, e.g pomodaro, blocking websites or is impossible to do, work from office or zoom call with a coding buddy. I feel really bad about the situation. Some of the work I need to do is requested by the other team and tbh it should only take a day, but it's been a month and I still haven't done it, and I'm feeling the pressure that they are checking in on me every week and judging me since it's such an easy task. Part of me wants to quit, but I have the best manager ever out of all my previous managers and is probably in one of the best pre ipo company. However my company (not samsara) only has 15 days of vacation time, and I've already pre planned when to use the vacation days, so I really want to take a break but I can't, and I really want to take a long break longer than 15 days. I also skipped many standups due to guilt of not doing anything and feel maybe I'll get fired if I keep this up. Is it possible to talk to my manager for me to take a 2 - 3 month unpaid break, is this a thing that people do? Any other advice?
Try a change of place ... well not as bad as yours, I am in a similar position ... I used to be a star performer and these days I am not motivated to work ... Especially after I started living by myself ... I recommend going to coffee shops or your office (if it is open ) ... a change of place can help .
What helped me is make a very short list of the bare minimum you need to do in a day. It has be short, like 2-4 points. It helps you feel good at the end of the day when you complete everything on the list. Feeling good about completing tasks will make you want to add more things to the list as time goes by. Take 3 day weekends (Friday or Monday off) and completely disconnect. It also helps if you do things in bare minimum list during the week, then you won’t be thinking about work and how you’re not working enough during your off time. Get your exercise, sunlight, vitamins, and good 8 hours sleep.
Get your blood work and annual physical done. But start working out. Gyms should be open at most places. Workout most days with intensity.