My older brother is personally financially responsible & personally frugal. He works for the state in a job he loves that pays enough to live on by most people’s standards (about 150k after taxes). He used to be in pure finance M&A and made 5-600k / year (10+ years ago) but he hated his work life. His wife has always outspent their means - even when he made 500k/ year. She had the house overflowing with clothes for their kids. Like each kid would have 30+ brand new sweatshirts and sweaters every year. They have 4 kids. She hid credit cards from my brother and racked up 100s of thousands in credit card debt. She refuses to go to therapy. She also refuses to get a job to pay off some of this debt. My brother took on a side gig driving for DoorDash. They have cashed out all their non 401k savings to service the credit card debt. They have cashed out some of the 401k to pay it off. The kids who are old enough (2 in college) have stopped coming home due to all the fights over money. My brother had an accident and ended up in the ICU for 2 weeks and months of physical therapy. He now has huge medical bills. Do I help him with some of the savings I have? He’s my only sibling, parents are dead.
Nah… let him survived on his own. He should have calculated his wife’s behavior before quitting the $600k job
Does he not have insurance?????
Yes, typical US insurance. 20% after deductible met is your responsibility.
Damn I’m sorry about that. Health insurance for gov employees in the US is usually excellent
Help him with medical care but forget helping him with money. His wife has something on him and that is why he doesn't stop her or divorce.
He won’t die because of billing issue but he will lose his assets after being sent to collections. If you pay for him his wife would just spend it all. She should be the primary caregiver and responsibility for him until they divorce.
Let him go bankrupt so his wife will leave then help him start fresh
What happens if he doesn’t pay for his medical expenses? It seems like their credit is down the drain anyway. Also, how much is the bailout? Being able to afford it isn’t the same as borrowing money for it for example
To pay off everything is more than I would be willing to help - current debt is 500k. I can help with 80k which would cover the medical. But I’m worried that it just enables the wife more.
I think you could ask to see the hospital bills and pay off the account directly that way you've done your part and if the wife wants to continue racking up debt that's on her and out of your hands .
Shit man, is it culture? The way you all grew up? What made you 2 so different?
He and I are very alike. We’re both personally frugal. We also suck at fighting with people we love. Luckily I married someone who was also frugal so we have zero issues with finances. Before the credit card debt was discovered my bro had several million in stocks, which he thought was enough.
Millions in stocks? How much is CC debt? I am Sure CC will have a limit. You should help your brother with medical bills though ..
Help him, but on the condition that he will have the wife fixed. Root cause of troubles is there. No need of empathy for her, she got enough mollycoddling. Time for brother to be treated as the king he is in his trouble and give him the reward for being a good man of the house till now.
Do not pay his bills. His wife will come after you too
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Yeah help him