TLDR; Considering a move back to NCR from the US after feeling stuck in a career and struggling with high living costs. Concerned about uprooting family, especially kids' education, and aging parents. Seeking advice on how to execute the move and explore job opportunities. It's been quite a journey - a decade in Southern India for work, and another almost here in the US. Feeling a bit worn out now. Transitioned from roles like Software Engineer and Software Development Manager to a QA Engineer, and I've been stuck at 130k for what feels like forever. Seems like my only shot at breaking out of this rut is by buckling down and mastering DSA to compete with the LeetCode crowd. But how do I decide? I don't have a home left in India, and my parents don't have a stable place or income. My kids have been here since they were 3 and 9, now 9 and 15, and they've adjusted well so far. But should we uproot them? My wife, a homemaker, may need to enter the workforce at 40, maybe in UI/UX or testing, as we can't afford college here. Things are just so pricey in the US - rent, groceries, utilities, it all adds up. And there's hardly anything left over at the end of the month. The only saving grace is my 401k (about 150k) plus couple of property investments in India (about 350k), no loans though. Sometimes, I can't help but feel like I could've done better if I stayed back home, surrounded by family and friends. I'm just not connecting with people here. I'm seriously contemplating a move back to NCR, but I'm torn. Is it fair to the kids? And then there's the worry about aging parents. Any ideas on how to navigate this? Should I reach out to my network on LinkedIn, Naukri, etc.? Appreciate any insights, folks. 😊 #job #R2I #india
So you have 500k in investments? Seems pretty good honestly.
About 150k in 401k and 350k worth of property in India giving about 1k/ month, managed commercial investments. Nothing else apart from these, I am thinking it’s about 10-15L I save every year here, in India can I save better money, also we are missing family badly, taking short trips is not helping out either. What will you do in this situation?
I'm not Indian but my family is from a southeast asian country that isn't really developing. I want to move back the services like maids,nanny,driver would be amazing but I'd need to start a business to really get anywhere. So I've decided to stay here at least til retirement, but I will say I have a pretty close friend circle and we vacation together and hang out a lot so we feel pretty connected. I can understand that longing, in the end whatever you choose don't live with regret. I assume you would have to quit your job here, but who knows maybe there's a better job in India with your expertise.
15 is really big for a transition, that too from US to dirty NCR Try to be here , don’t give up. Ask your spouse to help, if she can. All you can do is try. Return to India is always an option, if all else fails
Thank you. It's this longing for home that's been affecting the entire family. I miss everything—family, friends, the food, the festivals, and more. Honestly, I don't understand how others manage without these things, and how some people quickly build a social circle and thrive here. I was considering moving back to NCR, Noida, or Gurgaon to settle down, but life there is also expensive. With a family of six, we would need to earn at least 3-4L/month to make ends meet. What do you think is the better option: pursuing a management position or trying out roles in FAANG and other companies as a Senior SWE for better pay?
Manager position is good for career growth But, if you are optimizing for money, FAANG may be a safer bet as an IC
Stick it out for a few years until kids are in college and move back. Or just move back - kids will adjust.
Understand, I share the same sentiment. I'm just undecided on whether to relocate while he's finishing 9th grade or wait until he completes 12th grade and secure admission in a lower-ranked college there. By then, we'll have additional savings, making it easier to afford his college education. Additionally, our property investments will generate about 1L/month in rental income, providing us with a passive income stream. If we don't return in the next year or two, we'll have more savings in 401k and cash, especially if I can secure a higher-paying job.
Kids can pay for themselves in this country. They’ll manage. Go back for a few weeks with family, and if you still enjoy living there, only then give this further thought.
I did this move back to Bangalore with kids almost same age. Kids got adjusted but traffic, crowds and lack of connection with relatives here making things hard and I might move back
Desis in the US want to move back to India 😟
If you have a strong family and friends circle then yes. Otherwise you will have another entirely different set of problems for which you will complain about and wanna move again. This is why people R2A in a year or 2
Sometimes, we overthink. It will not be easy but kids will adjust, they are resilient. You can put your kids in IB schools, but they are expensive. If you plan to move to India for financial reasons, I must tell you India is not cheap either, you will need a high paying job to survive. I would recommend looking up various forums to know the salaries and talking to your friends in India to better understand the cost of living. In the US you have an option to move to a LCOL city (midwest) and you can easily survive with this salary and IMHO it will beceasier for your spouse to pick up a job here in the US vs India. But if you want to move to India to be with your family, then don't think too much, just do it.
Thank you Buddy, appreciate the thoughts. Yeah too much of energy every single day goes in this, how this all propel daily because whenever we are stuck in anything medical we think of home, any festival we wanna distribute sweets to neighbors and sit down relax but everyone looks like we are still stranger even after 3 years in same community. Yeah school board is one tough choice to make, kids are good in studies here, I believe they will survive in other boards too but that’s a conscious choice and I am downloading the free materials available to understand what they are being taught in CBSE/ICSE Boards too but at the end of day will take judicial choice. My current state of investment is about 150k in 401k slated for retirement and 350k in properties plus any other legacy if we receive from parents side. Rentals are now close to 80k INR monthly and will be about 1.5L end of 2026. So we are keeping 2 years timeframe for us to decide and based upon financial condition to move back or stay here. You are right my wife is trying hard and she is from MBA finance but wanna enter in software field so she is learning Testing, UX (pretty good in art field she is) and SQL, she wanna enter as fresher to any of these fields.
I am able to relate to you because I am also in the same situation. But my reason for moving back is different from yours it is to be with my aging parents. Your monthly expenses in Blr would be around 1.5-2.0 lakh (50k rent, 50k for 2 kids, 50k misc), and you will pay 30% tax above 15lakh income. So you can do the maths. Good luck with the decision making because it is the hardest part.
From ncr here, Advice: come here for 2 weeks vacation 1st with family. Then decide what to do.
That actually makes more sense to spend sometime in NCR region, is that traffic and AQI that’s the reason of worry? I have been brought up for 25 years of my life in NCR region and moved out for job so not much updated in last 15-20 years and so. One thing is all of my engineering friends are settled in Delhi or NCR and they pretty much meet monthly so I kinda miss that too. Again I may be sounding too selfish and playing with kids future but I was a mediocre child and made my way to States so my kids can do that too with GRE route if they like.
130K is about a Crore in India which is pretty much possible in India. This salary in the USA means you are hardly saving much. Plus you lose out on festivals, social gatherings and Indian luxuries. Your life will be easier with better savings in India. Just yesterday I saw someone being offered 40L in Indore.
Thank you 😊 Is that FAANG companies pay pack, I checked on levels.fyi and ambitionBox and figured with the data that most of the times highest paying companies for Sr SDE roles are Microsoft / Uber / Meta / Google and Amazon, rest of the product development companies are no where close (pretty much half). Plus how do I reach out from here, one thing i thought to do is get in any of these companies here and take the internal transfer back to INDIA after certain period.
Yeah for sure pays are really good in our country now and there is not much reason left to be here, missing festivals is killing me and family from inside and we are papiyon that vibe, everything looks so artificial that I don’t jump in joining local events. Plus INDIA will prosper for sure for couple of decades along with rest of the BRICS Nations so timing is also good.
Do a trial run for a year. Send wife and kids back to where family is located. Try international schools for adjustment.
Wife also contemplating on same thought, I am working on that one too
I have to ask, how does one go from SDE -> SDM -> QA?
I was initially recruited for Frontend dev and than position got dissolved and only option left was QA Automation Engineer since than the calls I am getting is QA related fields.
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