Want to change but can't figure out how
I have been in tech for 15 years. Worked at large tech giants and small startups. Have saved up enough to not worry day to day or year to year even, but not enough that I can retire. I am 38 now and still at my job but find absolutely no satisfaction doing it. I find it so pointless making "advances" to sell more ads or make search better or make people more productive or whatever. The challenges feel so un-motivating. If I ask 5 so-what's for anything, it feels it ends up nowhere (Like: we will sell more ads. So what? My company will make more money. So what? We will get a raise. So what? We can buy that new car. So what?). Then I read stuff in the news or in books and feel there are really really hard problems in the world. And I don't claim to be able to solve any of them but I want to work to help people and animals affected them. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I can't find a job that pays nearly as well. I have a family who depend on me and are used to a certain lifestyle. I can't bring myself to go chase some wild dream of being the next Mother Teresa or Jane Goodall and have my family suffer. Plus I don't know how much suffering I can take myself. So then I debate if I should go into some other relatively high paying field like Law or Econ. But I suspect that if I do Law, I will end up at a partnership just doing mergers and acquisitions or something (game of numbers in terms of how many jobs are available). I don't even know where to go with Econ. Sometimes I imagine maybe I can go coding adjacent and do White Hat hacking or work for the govt but I am located in the west coast and most of the fed gov jobs are on the east. Then I imagine getting a PhD in Physics and working at a national lab but I don't know if I can get that good in Physics plus they are located in super rural areas too. I don't know what am I asking but I am just venting. I feel stuck for more than a year now and I am just not sure what to do with the rest of my life. I don't think I ever got into tech because I loved coding. I think saw coding as a means to do something bigger and better. But it never became that. It just became a means to put food on the table. And I am not saying there is anything wrong with that per se but I feel it is not enough. Maybe it should be. But it is not. TC:200 (cash at startup. was $450 at msft)
Dude just volunteer on the side, pick a cause and start small. You've realized that work isn't fulfilling and it shouldn't be by itself. Not all lawyers work for bill gates' charity.
I have volunteered on the side for 4 years. It was nice but not enough.
95% of the people hate their jobs eventually. They keep doing it for the money. You are no different. Welcome to reality
In the general populace, that is probably true. But I don't think that is true in tech. People love to talk tech and are constantly chattering about the next innovation and how to integrate ChatGPT into their products. They may hate the day-to-day but they still like the overall picture.
You're 38. What would life look like if you could take a year long sabbatical at 40 to rediscover yourself and purpose? Maybe start preparing (discussion with spouse and family, saving up, building network in areas or places you want to look closer at etc)? You may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome. It doesn't have to change the entire trajectory of your life but may open up the road ahead as you seem to want. GL!
Fulfilling jobs usually don't pay well. Save enough money that money doesn't matter anymore and then pursue. Reddit financialindependence for tutorial. This is my plan at age 40. Become therapist, or coffee shop owner
I am 41. I quit a high paying job recently with zero plans on what to do next. I have a year or two (or three, maybe) to figure out what comes next. My wife works for much less money than I did, but we won't take much of a lifestyle hit unless I can't find something new. Still, it was absolutely the right decision. Zero regrets. Its a little scary. Am exploring other things to try and figure out what I can monetize and make a living at. The biggest thing is just having time and psychological space to think and go after things. I don't plan to try to duplicate my old income. I want to follow something I actually care about, and make enough to be back in the black -- which requires perhaps 25-30% or what I was making in tech. Am only a month into this little debacle, maybe stress will set in later, but for now I feel like its the best decision I have ever made. We only get one life. Its worth actually living.
OP talk to a therapist. You’re all over the place with being a physicist, lawyer, economist, top secret good guy hacker, etc. You don’t have to “change the world”. That was a lie from the mid 2000s told to dopey kids who VCs used as cannon fodder. What do you want out of life?
I think that is a problem. I don't think I was ever into changing the world when I was young but I feel more and more like I should do something about something. I don't know what. I have tried to find therapists. It is very hard to find someone who is good. Maybe I should try again.
I understand what you mean. If you want a tip for finding someone, try a more relational style of therapy rather than CBT. It takes a while to unwind and someone with expert level emotional intelligence can help give you the language around existential issues. Good luck!
Teach younger people how to code. Maybe help people get internships at MSFT. I know a guy who needs help getting internships. Maybe you can help him and if it affects you. And see if it rekindles ur passion in tech
You really hit the nail on the head with the 5 "so-what" explanation... I have this exact problem too. Interested to hear if you end up resolving it what worked... career switch, therapy, etc.
Use your 15 years of experience to create your own startup, using code as a means to an end.