Why no solutions offered?
I hear a lot of #metoo stories but I don't hear any analysis on why these things are happening (social, economic, etc) or solutions to fix the problem. Why is that? I realize this isn't an easy topic to talk about or try to solve but come on people, at least try! Are relations between men and women causing the problem? Are men not getting enough sex? What is it? Thoughts?
It’s not that men aren’t getting enough sex. It’s that they feel entitled to it. They feel entitled to a woman’s body. Favors are expected to be repaid with sex. Even outside the workplace, a lot of men think that buying a girl a drink means she owes him sex. Even if she didn’t want him to buy that drink. Take a girl to dinner and pay for it? She owes you sex. Give your female friend a ride home from the airport? She owes you sex. I’ve been in each of those situations, and I’ve reached the point where I refuse to let any man help me with anything because too many times it has resulted in them assuming I should now sleep with them because they helped me in some way.
I feel that this has partly come from film and gaming. These "guy gets the girl" film and game endings are too prevalent and tie most story arcs on the male part that is courageous, generous or altruistic with some sort of sexual favor or to act as a reward system. Also equally as bad are the guy girl pairings in movies, and people assume some sort of relationship has to happen there beyond coworkers, associates, partners etc. Not only does this binary/trope hurt real women, but it makes men and women shells of who they really are: complex beings with a spectrum of emotions, beliefs, and ideas who are being forced into boxes by what society feels they should be or how they should live Based on their gender, sexual orientation, race, etc.
A lot of people can miss out on a lot of great friendships because it’s drilled into our heads that men and women can’t be just friends. I know a guy who refused to be friends with any women for that reason.
It's built into genetic code of men to procreate and be highly aroused around women. This is why most religions and cultures had limits on gender interaction and clothing. We decided we're too smart for that
By that logic, men are not capable of self control and are no more than animals. I don’t understand how anyone can justify that “men can’t help it” line of thinking. It’s insulting to the men. Men can be better and they should be better than that. They just choose not to be and hide behind flimsy excuses.
BS
Similar to how we were told in high school no tank tops because guys can't concentrate on their work 🙄
face palm
Culture, we need to focus on being a good person vs. Man / Woman. https://www.ted.com/talks/justin_baldoni_why_i_m_done_trying_to_be_man_enough?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=tedspread--a
Problem is that women are often dehumanized .When you’re not seen as a person in the first place, if you’re seen as an object, the other party doesn’t think they’re being bad at all if they do bad things to you.
It’s not about sex. It’s about power. Perpetrators are not just into sex aspect of it. It’s the fear and the realization that they’re in control while the victim is powerless that really gets them the satisfaction. So make no mistake, these aren’t regular men. They’re sadists.
I think this is true for serial offenders, but there is also a segment of men who aren’t aware that what they are doing is unacceptable. And the power dynamic is such that if the subordinate makes that clear, that in and of itself can destroy the mentoring relationship
Yes. On a rare occasion that happens too, but that one actually can be addressed by employee training and hope that the unwitting offenders actually accept that they shouldn’t be doing those things. Because you will also have the segment that gets offended when they’re told they can’t do those things.