Would you refer someone who stabbed you in the back?
I was an intern at another company last year out of 2 interns. They were only going to pick one of us. The other girl/intern drove me to work and was there for me a few times as I was struggling with health issues at the time. However in our last 6 weeks her true colors came out. She made me look bad to our mentors every time she could and pretended to "help" me with our Jira cards by posting it in Slack. It was so strange watching someone publicly try to make me look bad and them good every time they could. Like I'd be working on my card and she would finish hers through the midnight then in the morning post "Hey I finished my card, I'm gonna go ahead and take your card ___ if you do not mind". Then she would publicly critique my work in the group chat of our mentors but when she needed helped she'd privately DM me. Tbh, I just let her do it because I was dealing with so much health stuff at the time. Any ways she got the job 50k a year and a year later I'm at better health and luck out at Microsoft. Now she wants me to help her get here. I know I could easily help get her employed as i've helped lots of junior people here so far (I've networked a lot with hiring managers and i'm great at writing on people's behalf), but some part of me will never forget how she made me feel. It was my first experience with workplace competition. I should also mention I feel an obligation to help as we are both WOC, I'm Christian and humans are multifaceted. She's been there for me but she's also stomped on me. I don't know. What would you do? Let bygones be bygones? tltr: Other intern purposely made me look worse so she could get the one job offer. #whatwouldyoudo #referral #microsoft #google #tech #amazon #facebook #question #help Edit: This was not a troll post at all. I am glad you guys gave me insight as I really could not decide. I just wanted to come to my decision from a balanced point of view. Thank you.
"Oops didn't see this message" and ignore
lol, we had a phone call and now she's liking everything on my Instagram and told a few mutuals I'm helping her.
Oh noOoOoOooOoOo. I straight up ignored people that I've worked with when they messaged me on social media lololol if I don't want to work with them again. I guess if I were you, I'd refer her, and in the referral, say you don't really know the person or have worked with them before but do not know the person 🥵
Honestly I would just move on, MSFT is a big company and she will find someone else to help her with a referral.
Give her a weak reference. If she gets it she owes you one, if not it's her fault.
Was this message out of the blue? Do you feel social pressure to help her, meaning will it be weird if you say no or don’t respond, because you still talk regularly or something? You could lie and say you did refer her but it doesn’t guarantee an interview. Or, depending on the referral process, write a truthful referral that says you had personality issues with them but they do good work. If you truly do not want to reward/encourage her interpersonal behavior, don’t refer her.
MS sends a referral message
Then they can give a weak referral as someone else mentioned.
Don’t bring them bad apple to Microsoft and ruin MS’s culture. If saw her message and responded, then, refer her mentioning that I don’t know this candidate personally and I have never worked with her
I was originally going to reach out to managers I knew who were actively looking and I have good relationships with but I am most comfortable with not putting in this much effort and just doing an employee referral as you recommend.
If she did to you she will definitely do to to someone else. Doesnt look like a good candidate for referral
Prove yourself (not her or anyone else) that you are noble and you are different from her. Do not carry your past baggages with you. This is an opportunity to drop the negative thoughts (on her) with your positive actions.
Won’t she ruin MS culture though?
o.m.g, maybe MS culture could change her.
Turn it into a teaching moment, let her know why you won’t refer her and make it clear that connections and interpersonal skills are more important than climbing the ranks at any cost.
Hit "seen" on her message and no reply.
Business is business
Just ignore them and move on.