So I've been thinking about dating. A lot of us here on Blind are ambitious. We chase the TC high, the prestige, the career ladder. I think it is safe to say that most of us here are somewhat ambitious overachievers - even when compared to our peers in the software industry, let alone all industries. So, when you are looking for an SO, are you looking for someone with similar ambition? On one hand, there's some value to a peaceful and content life, one person to stay home to take care of the kids or work a small job doing what they love. On the other hand, ambition is to me personally a very attractive trait. It usually comes bundled with drive, motivation, intelligence, and self-respect. But also sometimes - arrogance and stubbornness. TC: 320 YoE: 3.5 For the virgins, SO=significant other, not Stack Overflow. #Dating #Relationships #Love
Just be with someone who makes you happy, TC should not play a role. Everyone has certain ambitions and goals but what they do in order to achieve them is another thing, and under different circumstances things do not always go as planned. Character develops when you’re with someone. You can always motivate and push them to grow with you, ambitious at the time or not. You’re not in it to just gain but also give. I had a toxic as fuck ex, she used me for money in the later stages of our time together. I value my happiness more than anything, and my current gf is everything I wanted in a woman especially after my previous dogshit ex.
Ambition != TC For example, you could date someone who works hard at their environment-focused job working on reducing global warming and that’d be ambitious but low TC.
@Oracle, Keep that type of ambition for yourself … Social work, global warming BS and anything that is not hardcore CS or Engineering is for Joe Biden and Democratic Party ! Us, the bada$$ evil capitalists, who busted our a$$ at Eng schools and drive the total comp don’t care about that kinda ambitious behavior… take a look at AOC and the 3 stooges (rashid and others) … “for sure” I want my wife or my daughter to envision her future to be them … hahaha …. 🤣🤣
TC and YOE or GTFO
Can you read?
Obsession with TC and prestige are major turn offs for me.
This ambitious lifestyle can be exhausting, personally I would find it irrelevant in a partner and perhaps even less desirable. I’d love to come home to someone that is just gleaming happiness from a low stress lifestyle, that is thinking of the next awesome thing to do for our relationship rather than the next TC opportunity. That shit has already overtaken my mind the past x years, I’d like my relationship to be the “happy place” as much as possible and separated from this TC chasing lifestyle. I’m fortunate enough to have already gotten far enough in this game of TC so if I can get a higher quality relationship by taking the responsibility of finance off of the table then I’m all for it.
TC/YoE?
Honestly only ~150k/1.5, being in low CoL area though this already has been overwhelming in terms of compensation. Got approval for G so prob will increase soon
Yeah gotta have someone that can compile tier lists with you
Double high income power couple is the best. It’s rare for people to find a good match that way but if you have it, your household easily crushes single income or unequal income households when it comes to resources for your family. Plus it’s sexy to have someone as smart and driven as you on your team.
Sure JPM; good luck raising normal, emotionally well adjusted kids when both partners are type A, 60 hour week cogs grinding away to make that paycheck.
Sure, we both work <40 hrs a week and get paid well for it because we also value family and couple time, but if it makes you feel better to think that our children wouldn’t be a priority to make yourself feel better about people being more successful than you, then you do you. Really though, my attitude is that you’re allowed to be ambitious about your life overall - maximizing value in TC, time with family, fun things, personal hobbies, however you’d like to balance it out. If I didn’t care about raising “normally, emotionally well adjusted kids”…. Then I wouldn’t have any :) and that would be ok too. People are allowed to have and prioritize different things in life.
I want someone ambitious, but not necessarily in chasing tc if that makes sense. I think you can extend ambition to other things like hobbies, working out, etc
Ambitious but not about TC. Being ambitious about TC is quite boring actually. I search TC to fund other searches, unfortunately I earn peanuts T.T
Yes. For me, the guy I date should be ambitious and always driven to achieve more; TC and otherwise. I would want someone who earns around the same amount that I do, and is constantly chasing better things. Anything other than that is just being lazy and content at peanuts (like I’m getting paid right now).
Are you worried about relationship stress that might be caused by conflicting ambition?
Not really. Would there be stress due to conflicting ambition?