Graduated last December, this month would mark the 9th month that I joined VMware. I'm feeling an extreme burnout. I don't blame everything on COVID because there wasn't an actual lock down and I don't believe there would have been any material change if it was not the COVID. (1) Upper back pain due to constantly sitting in the same chair. Got an extremely expensive chair and a height-adjustable standing desk, and this doesn't help at all. I work out everyday. Saw a physical therapist back in August, it did help a bit, but the back pain has come back. Feel like a massage could really help but I'm living alone, so that's out of the question. (2) I hate my apartment now. It's so dark that I have to turn lights on during broad daylight. It's even colder in my apartment compared to the outside. WTF IT'S CALIFORNIA! And I pay $3000+ per month to live in downtown SJ. Unable to switch apartment right now due to the change of address STEM OPT extension bullshit. (3) Made a couple friends here. I behave completely normal in front of them, but deep in my heart I understand that I'm an extremely negative person. Hate to pretend, but ... (4) Failed the H1B attempt in March when almost everybody got it. Now this seems like impossible with the wage surge. (5) Wanted to take days off for vacation, but clearly can't fly anywhere right now, and going home during Christmas isn't even an option. How fucked up is that?! Also wanted to do a road trip, but I don't have anyone to go with. (Seems like everyone has a BF/GF to go on road trip with) (6) Bombarded by Trump News every fucking day, and some people on my social media are crazy conservatives (Not the financial ones, but the crazy religious ones WTF). Looking at their comments makes me want to start an argument with them because they are such hypocritical human beings. However, with most of them I can't even say anything because clearly they're not smart enough to construct an argument, and the first thing out of their mouth would be: Oh be grateful that you're here in the USA, not in your shit hole home country. With Trump having a great chance of being re-elected honestly makes me disappointed with this country... and yes, planning my exit. ---- Will the following help me? Moving to Canada. With personal connections I can get a work visa, but it is non tech related, meaning that I would be able to get over there in a short time but will have to give up my career in tech. Sorry for the rant, but honestly a super confused new college grad here looking for advice. #workvisa #softwareengineer #mentalhealth
You will have the same problem in Canada. What’s going to change there ? You will also have to make new friends and way worse weather
Book a cabin for a week - vacation, play games, read a book, cook a nice biryani, change of place, change of pace.. cool stuff
It’s hard to be happy when physically you are not well. Take care of your health #1. Stretches can help with all sorts of pain. Do the stretches you learned in PT at home daily. Mental health is also important. Would you consider finding a therapist you trust? Take days off even if you can’t travel. It can help to step away from the computer and to stop thinking about work - it will probably help your back pain too. Spend a couple days without opening the laptop and limited time on phone. Stop reading the news / social media. Try to find some peace. I went through something similar a few years ago and I remember my therapist telling me “you want to move because you’re running towards something, not away from something”. There’s no guarantee moving to Canada will make you feel better and you might end up feeling even worse about that.
Thanks for your advice! Indeed, giving up on my tech career for merely a year would make me feel sad. But if that’s at the price of liberty, it’s worth considering it at least.
Get a dog 🐶
Lemme know if you want to hangout brother. I will not give massages, or do any GF stuff however.
Haha sorry but I’m not a brother
Buddy I feel you, I'm literally still a student but the news part really resonates with me. Really tired of seeing the negativity and more importantly the hostility against internationals. America used to be a country that welcomed people from all around the world. Heck I don't think there is anyone that's "truly" american(most people have a mixed heritage) and this is partly why this country is one of leaders out there. Infact almost every other famous person I know has international roots(bezos has a Cuban dad, musk from south africa, CEOs of google, microsoft, AMD, Nvidia). I can keep going on. Lastly , I was myself considering canada as an option. Having stayed in NY, I don't think Canada will be as unbearably cold as people show it to be. More importantly atleast you have a shot at being a citizen and not have to worry about being kicked out because of some hypocrite who blames all the problems on immigrants even when his own wife is an immigrant.
Here are a few observations & recommendations: 1. Take regular breaks. No amount of exercise or money you spend on a fancy chair can beat regular breaks where you move around & stretch a bit. 2. What kind of rule restricts you to move apartments? Sounds like you want to stay in downtown but are cribbing about paying for it. 3. They didn't ask you not to be negative. Why are you pretending? 4. So? You work for a big company. Stop acting like they don't know about this. 5. Things are always an option. You're the only person who can make your decisions for you & you need to learn to make peace with them. Make friends & go, go visit friends or travel by yourself. 6. Who forced you to get bombarded? Who forced you to use social media? Advice: Totally understand your frustration but what have you done to change or alleviate any of it? Running to Canada won't change any of your problems (apart from maybe the visa one). You need to ask why you're having such a difficult time dealing with these issues. What's stopping you from improving your own situation? The first step to improvement is understanding the situation.
Indeed. No one forced me to stay on social media, etc. But I can’t pretend that those things are not there. I can’t have my eyes closed. As for #3, people already have a bunch of problems themselves, I don’t think being negative would make them want to stay friends with you. For #4, vmw doesn’t really care. Their solution is and always have been: USA headcount -1, some other country headcount +1. Likely this will be the situation for all techs as they have learned that remote work doesn’t decrease efficiency, but to reduce operational costs.
Who asked you to pretend that these issues don't exist? You can always know about things but don't dwell have to on them unless you're actively doing something to change the situation. Are you currently doing anything about it that you need to spend so much time on there? Could you educate yourself about the topics but invest you time in other areas? There's a difference between someone who's negative & fun & someone who's only negative. Which one are you? You're alternate plan is to move to another country. VMW does the same. Why is this an issue?
> back problems backfitpro.com I saw a McGill Master Clinician and he fixed problems I’d been having for well over a decade. Read Back Mechanic
Hi Francoph, All the issues you described are not unique to you and many in their career come across such feeling more than once. As others have said, and from my experience, tackling these issues head on is the only way to overcome them. That is what will bring lasting happiness. I recommend starting meditation, download headspace app. This itself will open many doors. Create work/life boundaries and schedule, focus on one of them at a time. There are some great Yoga videos on YouTube for back problems that will help, speaking from personal experience.
Running away from your problem (moving to Canada) is definitely not good for you in the long run.