Speaking as a Chinese person who grew up in the US with a lot of Chinese/Indian-American friends. My parents were quite… Chinese. I have heard so so many stories of corporal punishment, extreme verbal shaming/abuse, and the like from my friends as kids. I have gone through my own share of corporal punishment, from childhood well into my twenties. I know so many people who went through this parenting style as kids, who now have mental problems and need to attend periodic therapy/counseling. Obviously there’s the argument that our parents wanted what’s best for us, that they were just doing what they knew blahblahblah, and I’m not denying that. But at the same time, it’s very important to acknowledge the fact that the psychological scars left from such parenting often span a whole lifetime. The damage is very real. (I’ve heard similar horror stories from my Korean-American friends as well) So, are Chinese/Indian parents the worst at parenting?
We have US, so these two countries can never be the bottom.
I think the ideal state is somewhere between the callous American approach and harsh eastern approach. Mine was a moderate approach and I don’t have any kind of trauma and doing fine in life (upper middle class- 4M NV at 32)
I am in India. I've had similar experiences. It's just common parenting style in my family. Although the inventions were good. But could've handled better. Let's give a better parenting to our kids.
American here. Indians are WAAAY too concerned about what their parents think, to the point of lying to them so they don't hurt their feelings. Sometimes I think American children are a little too protected, but all and all I think American children learn to be more independent and form their own families. I try to give my daughter lots of autonomy and unstructured time.
You can change it overnight. Its changes a little every generation. I want to do better parenting but i only know so much that should be change. Most of things i do i think they are ok for my kid and necessary. I can’t question every parenting step that i do intuitively
Harsh parenting is also why many Asians are overachieving in the US. Can’t have one without the other
Many would rather have peace and sanity
Asians get credit/less racism for being the hardworking minority. Can’t have the status without the work
You are pretty good at concluding with single/few date points. Don’t speak for Chinese, speak for yourself
Oh get off your high-horse. If anything, the parenting stories I hear out of China are 9999x worse.
@NVIDIA please keep a copy of this post by taking a snapshot and look back in 10-20 years (especially when you get married and have kids). Don't think too high of your own judgments (be that you know the truth and better than your parents). Asians stand out for a reason.
What is with Asians thinking their parents are the worst in the world? This is a very myopic view and reinforces a stereotype that white parenting is superior or not suspectible to child abuse too or that other races/cultures have been spared from not having Asian parents. I know American and African individuals who have been molested or raped by their own family members — it’s something quite common than someone imagines, but I never hear them say “oh! White/black families are crazy!” I will say there is generational trauma caused by historical events such as the Cultural Revolution or World Wars that tend to exacerbate abuse within families. So this trauma can be more persistent across generations and cultures than others. There is cultural context behind trauma and abuse, too, but the psychological effects of abuse on a human are all the same across cultures. Whether Chinese or Indian parenting styles are worse than other cultures is difficult to quantify due to the subjective nature and diversity of such experiences.
We don’t. Whiny ones cry the loudest. I’m very grateful for my family values. Couldn’t have been here today without them and had no such thing as trauma.
Dude you must be in a bubble if you don’t hear people saying black families are crazy, I’m black and we talk about how bad our parents weee all the time. Black kids end up with the same or worse traume but without the success. End up in jail or on welfare when they have trauma.
Chinese and Indian are best parents
No I'd rather have my kids know their gender
That has literally nothing to do with the question
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