How is calling fat fat body-shaming?
Title says it all. Tired of people taking offence at every single thing. Edit: more context I’m a woman, fairly healthy trying to lose a bit extra fat myself Me: I’m watching my weight, I need to lose a little more. Friend( who’s a lot heavier than me): if you say this, then what about me Me: ya, you should too. Do you want to come to the gym with me? Done. Hell broke lose.
If you can help them lose weight, then it’s not shaming. Otherwise keep your mouth shut. Lot of time being fat is a symptom of something else (hormonal problem, family problem, stress). They gotta figure out how to solve the actual problem first. I’ve been extremely obese and now I’m not. It’s super discouraging when people give up on you.
What if they haven’t tried controlling their diet or going to the gym? Won’t that be the first few things to try before suspecting the poor hormones
That’s not your problem to solve OP. Your friend put you in a socially awkward/compromising spot by asking “then what about me”. The only thing I would have changed about your response was telling her/him they should lose weight
I feel like shaming is ok as long as it is on something the person has a choice over. For example, Fat shaming is sometimes ok Short shaming is not Unfortunately, status quo is the opposite. It’s ok to make fun of short people but not ok to say someone’s fat.
Agreed. 100%
How heavy is your friend? Pounds and height?
And this is germane how?
Is that relevant? I don’t know the exact numbers but let’s say I’ll fit into an XS and she’ll probably need an XL. We both are more or less the same height
Don’t understand all the hate OP is getting. While I agree calling someone “fat” is unwarranted, OP told her friend that she is going to the gym and it seems like her friend was already offended. While I don’t recommend going around be a dick, if someone asks you “do you think I’m heavy?”, I think the truth is, as it should be, an acceptable response.
Thank you. Most often, I don’t just go around calling people fat. They’ll bring up something about dress size or food or something like here in this case, and then we respond, it’s body shaming. Or they’ll simply be over stating body positivity the whole time or saying “I’ll eat whatever I want” when nobody else was actually talking about it.
I’m guessing OP struggles with social cues.
You should stop hanging out with them. Have you ever heard that "you are the average of 5 people you hang out most with" (in every aspect). Move on. People who really want to succeed will welcome criticism especially from friends and relatives and then take positive steps. In your case she explicitly said "What about me!" and you gave your advice. Your friend is assuming that she is the baseline when she compares you to her. But your baseline is someone else who is on a leaner side. You could have taken offence and said "Let me get to your size and then we go to gym together?" Maybe that would have been less offensive!? But there is no point arguing with stupid.
So... instead of simply going to the gym and doing your thing you’re making this a social event, which backfires, and so you turn to Blind to reconfirm that you’re a good person?
No, I posted this question to understand what’s this big fuss about fat shaming. If you’re fat, you’re fat. Either do something about it or don’t be ashamed about it if someone says you’re fat.
Because you’re making someone feel shameful about their body. Did you really need help with this?
Yes, I still need help with this.
OP is an idiot That’s idiot shaming But thankfully OP won’t understand it #idiotsArePeople3