31 married & lonely, terrible wife/ selfish workplace.
At this point, i really have started craving for love my parents / friends gave me wihtout shouting/ judging on me for everything i wanted to do. Had lot of self time and did not get bullshit anger for disagreeing to their views, now i have to be attentive to speak what i feel is right at both home with wife and Office! Wife attacks me for anything which i dont do according to her and we rarely have any romance since last 1 year as she is always stuck with here own parents problems, while workplace has high politics due to product managers/ leaders pushing their shitty ideas without any data backing them. Feels like everyone is just mean and i am always scared to speak up my heart bcz they can get offended. I just cant sit and breathe and i am tired of arguing as it doesnt help at all. Friends were really warm and deeply connected but they are all married and away in different cities. This is as rough as it could be. I just need few good people to tell me there is better side to life and people. Any suggestion on how to move ahead from here ? Should i have an affair ? #life #missing #nolove #relationship #relationships
I think you should divorce or try to have a good talk with her.
What happened with your wife, OP?
Now, I am more scared of marriage
Get a divorce and get a girlfriend šÆworth it.
Before marriage, how long have you dated her???
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How long have you been married? How long has she been this way? How long did you date her before marrying? Please donāt have kids. If this behavior is not usual for her, then she may be under some stress. You can try to talk to her in that case and lay some boundaries. If this is her real nature, please consider a divorce and move on.
married 2 years, before marrige she was not so extreme, since marrige its like she has become much more selfish. She is under stress all the time about her parents and sister, doesnt want goto my parents place
Can you give some examples? Was it an arranged marriage?
Sometimes, when we are overwhelmed it gets more difficult to express how we feel to our spouse and colleagues. Regarding work, I would say try to understand that itās only a job and sometimes itās better to distance ourselves emotionally from whatās going on in the office. Unfortunately, itās very often the case that there are going to be politics etc. The way I deal with it is by removing myself from the situation, focusing on projects that I feel are fun and I can learn from. This is not always possible as product managers etc might want to push their own agenda but I found that most of the time I make it work and end up doing stuff I enjoy. This has the downside that I might not get promoted but at least I m enjoying my work and when I am ready, I move to another company. Regarding your wife, the best way to deal with the situation is by sitting her down for a talk. Have you tried speaking to her in a calm voice and explaining how you feel? If you think that you canāt get your message across then I would recommend marriage counselling. Overall, it sounds like you are overwhelmed and just want to tell people to shut up but in a polite way. Speaking to a therapist can definitely help you manage these emotions and try to deal with difficult situations in the future. So make an appointment with a therapist, it ll definitely help! Regarding friends getting married and leaving, this something we all deal with. You can keep in touch with them, try to make new friends which I know itās not easy. The best way I deal with it is by picking up hobbies that place me in a community- like tennis or drawing etc. This way you get to meet like minded people and have a good time. Make sure you pick an activity you d enjoy though so youāre motivated to keep going back. If youāre are doing it just to meet people you might be disappointed- we tend to attract good people when we are in a good mood so your goal here is to first lift your spirits up by doing things you enjoy. The rest will follow š
If sheās not bringing anything positive in your life, Divorce her. Be careful about 498A etc other shitty marriage laws of India. Godspeed.
Arranged marriage OP?
Obviously
He didnāt answer that part but she is working. My guess is arranged marriage and sounded pretty good on paper/matrimony/dating site - āIndependent girl on her own H1B visaā
Indian?
Glad somebody asked this
yes