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Oftentimes I feel unable to say no immediately or turn away and leave (out of fear, conditioned fawn response, thinking they will get angry or hurt me etc…past trauma and whatnot), but this results in me either 1) uncomfortably standing there, in a conversation I do not want to be in or 2) guilty for some reason for “not giving them a chance”. It’s so fucked. I feel like I’ve been brainwashed to coddle men’s attempts to get my attention and it just leaves me so resentful and angry. I feel drained, like my time is wasted, and walked over afterward and know it is largely on me for allowing it. How do you gracefully reject advances or express total disinterest? Is there a more assertive script you default to using that actually works? Tired of feeling like I just can’t win or need to rely on “I have a bf” or “I have to go” excuses. At this point my priority is my safety and sanity. I’ve prioritized the feelings of others for far too long and it’s taken a huge toll on my mind, body, and self-respect. Thank you for stopping by and reading this post. I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with this. TC 150k
When I was a dumb guy who would not get the hint that a lady was interested, what worked the best was just insulting me lol. Will never forget the one time in a bar that a lady insulted my dress style. Got me to go away real quick and more just hurt my feelings than sending me in to a rage! That’s what I say. Just be rude. If you’re in public there should be no shortage of people who got your back. Either way I will say sorry you have to go through with this. Can’t imagine how it feels to be on your end. - signed, reformed dumb guy
Bruh this is the worst advice of all time 😂
Maybe. Then again none of the actual women who posted here have offered an answer that is successful.
I wish a simple “No thanks” did the trick, but most of the time it won’t. You have to tack on “I’m already dating someone” just to get out of the situation even if it’s not true. For your own safety and peace of mind, just lie and say “Sorry, I’m dating someone” and walk away. No need to coddle or worry about their feelings, just keep it that short and simple. The key is to walk away, right away. Otherwise you’ll get the occasional wackadoodke that will escalate the situation.
Perceptive men will know you're lying and find it offensive. Firstly it is an affront to their intelligence, and secondly you're implying they are a threat. If you're talking to someone honest and respectful, anything less than honesty and respect would reflect poorly on you. Granted, this is likely a minority. There is no one universal response to turning someone down.
I don’t care if a man finds this offensive or if they think it reflects poorly on me. My safety comes first.
Look into eyes and tell him to fk off
I wear the “I’m gonna kill you” expression on my face. I also don’t engage myself in attempted conversations let alone pretend to acknowledge their very existence, and walk away.
Hi Barbie!
You need a counselor - “unable to say no immediately or turn away and leave (out of fear, conditioned fawn response, thinking they will get angry or hurt me etc…past trauma and whatnot)”
Seems like you are the one who needs coddljn. Just say NO and go about your way
Let me help you out here: you will not be one of the few that look like Jessica rabbit when she’s 40. Luckily for my man I am. So…. Be kind when someone thinks enough of you to ask you out. When I was single I was so kind that every guy that asked me out became a good friend. It takes all types to have a fulfilled life.
So women should be grateful when they get harassed now according to you lol
Somebody once said if you want to scare a man away ask him to go to church or for money. They’ll run away so fast!
Do you really have a bf?
It’s an excuse many woman use to get out of a potentially aggressive situation.
I currently do not. It’s just unfortunately the safest excuse for many women