Me: I'm male, 33 yr old. married for 3 years. no kids. wife is 32. dated 2 years before marriage. We are currently considering a divorce (no one cheated, simply no common interests, no sex/love anymore for a long time etc). We talked about it and feel like this is the right thing for both of us. and I love her but I honestly can't see my marriage going well again. I'm happy to take care of her wellbeing before she finds her next man. She currently also makes good money (200k+), so not too worried about her keeping her life style. I hate dealing with all the overheads that comes with divorce. e.g divide property/money, tell/disappoint parents etc. Also, it sucks that we bought a house last year, still under water now. I also worried that my soon-to-be ex-wife has a disadvantage after divorce due to age, which will be worse if we procrastinate. She once proposed that we can have a child first and then get a Divorce (i hate this idea more than divorce). we have not went though marriage counseling yet. planning to do one asap. Did this concerns/worries happen to you? What's your story? How did you start/finish the divorce? Help. #depression #divorce
Definitely don’t have a kid then get a divorce. That’s really selfish Good that you figured this out relatively early. I hope you had a good prenup
thanks for your reply. she will be 33 next month. i understand why she chose to be selfish. this is just not good for everyone involved. no prenup. i make 50% more than her for past 2 years or so. i'm ok with 50/50 split. (WA state). at this point, money is not my main concern. thanks again
What if you are only the sperm donor. Would that make it easier?
Child and divorce is a stupid idea. In most states, divorce these days is super easy and practically free if you both consent to it. You don't need to get lawyers involved. It is also relatively fast (few months at most). All you need to do with write down all your assets and tell the court who owns what and that you've agreed on this. I'd recommend you get the divorce first and immediately, then figure out the rest. Definitely don't have kids ffs.
Getting divorced sucks, especially if you have a large disparity in your incomes. I got divorced in 2020 and it basically financially ruined me.
Do not make a child with her!!!!!
> no sex/love anymore > we can have a child first and then get a Divorce You know what it takes to procreate, yeah?
Well, that sucks. Have you considered therapy? Not meant necessarily to get you back togheter but to deal with depression, maybe help you navigate some of those questions? Seems like you are very empathetic to each other and you both have some self esteem issues
Sounds like you guys get along, not sure why you think divorce is necessary. Are you saying there are no butterflies so you decided to get a divorce?
we constantly fight for the same things. at this age, when we both want kids, she made it pretty clear that she doesn't wanna to do it with me.
It is a little confusing. Didn't you say above that she said have a child and then divorce? Now you are saying she made it clear she doesn't want kids with you.
are you sure? if you still love her maybe try counseling?
will sure try counseling asap. but the thing is, marriage works only if both sides love each other. not sure. i need the counseling
You can go into couples counseling with a clear wish to dissolve, too. Good on you to recognize you want counseling. Any failed marriage is hard. (Divorcee here, no kids luckily)
Don’t have children at all if you are considering a divorce. It gets really messy and you might never take a divorce
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My parents divorced, I remember it like it was yesterday. My mom wiped my dad out for everything basically, and then got both children, and then my dad had to pay child support for a decade. My mom's now a #WomanBoss or whatever they're called making fat stacks, and my dad is living on a 35k/yr pension waiting for his death bed.
Ugh the court system is trash
Isn't the worst case a 50:50 split?