If you were me, would you invest in your wife's career and become a soccer dad?
TL;DR: Option A HH TC $320k (me $240k, wife $80k) and high stress, Option B HH TC $500k (me $100k, wife $400k) and manageable stress??? Any risks I should consider? Option A (current): I'm non tech and I had to work my ass off to reach $240k TC at 42yo. Wife is also 42yo and makes $80k as an applied scientist for the government Wife can't spend too much time in investing in her career bc we have 2 small kids. As much as I want to be present and be a responsible dad, I do work crazy hours, so 70% of the chores ends up with wife. My job is really stressful. Every 6 months I feel like I'm walking over eggshells and need to cover my ass to not get fired. Option B (soccer dad): Wife holds a PhD in physics from Oxford and keeps getting pinged from all sorts of tech firms. Last time she interviewed, she made it to the final round for Google L5, but didn't pass. TC was north of $400k. Feedback to apply again anytime once she has more papers on her belt. Now that I was laid off from my company, wife brought up an interesting point: "why don't you take more care of the kids, find a more stable job and let me grind some research papers?". That would mean I would make significantly less than $240k and have the peace of mind of not getting overworked I have a feeling she can get the job (except that she's not that young) I feel pretty good about investing in her career,... but should I be paranoid about her potentially leaving me? We've been together for 10 years and we were love married . We're in a very stable relationship, zero issues thoughts? I wish this was a troll post , but it's damn serious... pls no trolls TC: 0
Pls go and let your wife do her thing. We all have a role to play and that role changes wirh time. Your role is now to play defense while she plays offense. Good luck.
Oh and that insecurity bit about her possibly leaving you, grow up.
lol i must admit is kinda childish
When a man gets rich, he thinks of providing luxury for his wife and kids. When a woman get rich, she thinks "why do I need a man?”
That’s not what Jeff Bezos did
If you aren’t the bigger bread maker in the relationship, women get bored. It may not happen immediately but over time she’ll start treating you like you’re less. Subconsciously we tie our value to our income, so she will start thinking she can do better after a while
maybe. One thing though, she currently transfers all of her salary to our joint account for me to manage it. I think she'd be ok to do the same if she makes $400k+
Bro i wish i had that option, i’d love to be a soccer dad/house husband
The question is would you be okay with that i.e. being a soccer dad not earning as much as you used to? Wives/moms are amazing and they can multitask effectively. Can you?
I need to be very clear on what I can or cannot do. School pickups, dropoffs? Sure. BJJ and spanish classes? Yep. Take care of them when they are sick while on meetings? Not 100% sure I'll have to spend some time in therapy to figure out what this means to me.
When you’re saying that you’ll be making significantly less, do you already know what you will be doing and how much will you be getting paid? Do you have an offer at hand? I’m curious to know how did you come up with the $100K salary? It’s normal to invest in your spouse. If she has a PhD from Oxford and is not utilizing it to its full potential, it’s probably not very smart. I think the bigger question is what makes you think that she’s gonna leave you after she starts making more money?
I have no idea. Downlevel to work on the same type of company won't do anything to reduce stress and workload. I'd have to switch industries, potentially with downlevel
Marriage is a team sport, do what’s best for both of you.
Option B! You won’t get the chance to spend so much time with your small kids before they grow up.
Be a soccer dad with a focus on building passive income. We have a friend where the wife works in tech and her husband remotely manages their rental properties and helps with kids.
yes that's part of the deal
Go buy some crypto
i said no trolls
Sry