Tech IndustryMay 27, 2023
NewjHgxp

Strange experience at a company offsite

Our company had an offsite the other week and I wanted to get people’s opinion on the situation and what I should do. For background, I’m a single (closeted-gay/bi) guy and had a rather strange experience with another male colleague (who has a gf and I believe is straight, a former athlete). He’s pretty attractive, 6ft, well-built, and good-looking in his mid 20s. I’m a pretty blend Asian dude in my early 30s. He (the colleague) works in sales and I work in product, so we barely work with each other, except when there’s deals where they need to bring a PM in to connect with the clients and talk about some complex feature asks. We had several zoom meetings recently because of a new project that I’m leading, and we became more close over the last few weeks. We’ve met before in person to go out for drinks during other company events. We found out we grew up in the same town and met up over the holidays when we were both back home. At a previous company drinking events, he grabbed my arm to dance with me before. And when we went out afterwards, he would pinch my buttock at bars or when a few of us went clubbing, I didn’t think much into this because we were probably all drunk. At the recent offsite, we met again and I felt like he was overly friendly and slightly more intimate / touchy. Like for example he kept wanting to sit next to me when we were in a group setting and wrapped his arm around me, randomly massaged my neck, and tried to hang out with me during free times, and randomly hugged / squeezes me when we were all drunk at the bar in downtown. The last night at the offsite, we all went out and I’m not sure how we got there but I had drank a lot and passed out at one of the booths at a bar, and the guy took me back me his room (cuz he didn’t have my room key and decided to just have me crash in his room). I was fully clothed and I’m sure nothing happened, but when I woke up, he was sleeping next to me with his shirt and pants off (not naked) in the same blanket. Anyway, we didn’t really talk about it and I just told him I’m gonna go back to my room and said thanks before leaving. He insisted that I just stay and leave in the morning but my room was literally 3 doors down, so I went back home (also, I was hungover and needed to shit lol). I had to leave for the airport after a few hours and left without saying bye to him and some people. After the offsite, I could tell he’s still his very friendly self, and has been reaching out for random things that I think we could just talk about over Slack. Is he just being friendly? Maybe for professional reasons? Or is this some subtle sign that he’s sending? Maybe I’m reading too much into it. I’m not openly gay/bi and haven’t told anyway, but he may have seen the Grindr app on my phone before when I was randomly browsing apps and deleting some around him. Even if he’s sending me some signals with certain intentions, I don’t think I wanna act on it because I would hate to mix work and personal. But just wanted to share to a sounding board because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. Forgot to mention when posting earlier but he added me on IG after the offsite. Still unsure how he found out, none of my current colleagues and I are connected on IG. TC 250k

American Express fzf May 27, 2023

Man, am I using blind wrong?

Conviva Namaste 🙏 May 27, 2023

Is this story created by generative ai? It's like a TV series ending with a cliff hanger. Is the colleague gay or not?

Amazon dFAG87 May 27, 2023

Sounds bi to me and into OP but OP either has low self-esteem (who describes themselves as a bland Asian dude cmon) or doesn’t want to hookup with his co-worker.

New
jHgxp OP May 27, 2023

@Amazon you hit it right on the nail, lol. My self esteem is down the toilet. As far as his sexuality is concerned, I am unsure. I know guy friends tend to get more touchy with each other when they feel close to that person (as with a bunch of my straight friends have been, and I was confused about it when I didn’t know this was normal among straight people). Since we’re coworkers, I would like to think he is straight, so we don’t weirdly complicate working relationships especially as I am in a more senior role than he is. I am generally more reserved and have a hard time building very close friendships, so I think it was nice of him to get me to become more outgoing and trying to involve me in more things.

New
ken12 May 28, 2023

🍿🍿

Flagged by the community.
Conviva Namaste 🙏 May 28, 2023

^ homophobic spotted

Flagged by the community.
Amazon Efnl10 Jul 31, 2023

Update?

Flagstar Bank uWsfa132 Sep 5, 2023

Office bromance? he is obviously into you sexually OP!!!