Thoughts on Weight Posts from the perspective of eating disorders

I posted this in one of those posts where men are complaining about their partners weight. I want to make sure it’s available for anyone who’s thinking about these things. So some of the disjointed comments at the end are because I was replying. I am here for anyone going through these feelings if you want to chat privately. While this post does discuss eating disorders I tried to avoid obvious triggers and numbers as that is never helpful. I had an eating disorder since i was 19. I started taking diet pills and when they were banned, I just graduated to other behaviors. My weight would fluctuate and it was a constant obsession. My main thoughts were food intake. Weighing myself multiple times a day and panicking over a pound or two. I would go into deep depression. It didn’t help I was in a relationship where my boyfriend would make remarks about my weight, tell me I’d be perfect at lower weights etc. He broke up with me when I was at a higher weight so I went into overdrive and I went into a full on spiral where I wasn’t eating for days. I ended up getting hospitalized because my roommate noticed and let my parents know so I got sent to a program. After leaving I was under intense therapy for years and put on antidepressants that made me gain weight which caused anxiety and periods of depression but I pushed through. I got so much shit from men over my weight. But I eventually committed to giving up the eating disorder and trying to become more accepting that my health was more important than my appearance. When I was in treatment, I can’t tell you how many women were telling the same story. How their mother’s issues with weight, how they saw their fathers treat their mothers, and how these things shaped their relationship with food. Men if you are married and have daughters recognize that they are watching how you treat your wives when their weight changes. Eating disorders are awful because unlike drugs and alcohol we can’t cut our demons (food) out. You want to be a good supportive partner check in on your partners mental and physical health. Lots of things can contribute to weight gain. If they’re having a hard time due to work or other stresses they might find comfort in food. I know you’re male and the partner is likely female because when the roles are reversed the women start dragging their partners to the doctor, the weight loss journey becomes a group effort. In a room full of 30 young women, 22-25 of them could trace their disorders back to their parents. The boyfriend also thought he was being helpful by the way. I talked to him recently and he’s still pressuring me to go back to my peak eating disorder weight, but now he adds “in a healthy way” like that changes anything. I have never been that weight unless I starved myself and maybe I just prefer having thicker thighs and not having bald spots from my hair falling out. Also fuck BMI. I’m curvier so my peak eating disorder weight was not what most would think of as scary thin. I would spend weeks agonizing why I couldn’t force my body to go below that number. Also food intake. For years I had this irrational thought that if I trained my body to accept less food eventually it would accept what some diets call the “right amount” of food. Any diet that says anything other than learning to listen to your body fullness and hunger cues is not a diet you should be on. Any woman on blind struggling I would want them to know. These posts are not the general consensus of men. There are guys out there who will value you for more then the number on the scale.#mentalhealth