Why grinding LeetCode sometimes might not be worth it

I recently graduated from university as a 24 year old with a bachelor degree in computer science. Why I took 6 years is an entire different story, which has to do with some poor decisions I made during high school. Anyways, I decided that during the university I wanted to exceed my expectations. I love programming and that’s what I always wanted to do ever since I was 13 years old. Studied a lot and ended up graduating at the top 5% of my class. Only graduated with just 1 internship in my resume due to lack of orientation during my years in university. However, I wanted to land a job at a FAANG, mainly because I was obsessed with maximizing my TC as a new graduate. A Google recruiter reached me via LinkedIn on December 2021 so I saw the opportunity. Scheduled my online coding assessment for March 2022 and my onsite interviews for April 2022. Grinded LeetCode every single day of my life from December to April. Aced all the technical interviews at Google and was hiring committee approved by May due to the slow process. Unfortunately, even though I was HC approved, I didn’t got an offer because I only had 1 team match call and the ECI program where I was going to get placed was full by the end of May due to Google’s reduced headcount. My recruiter told me to contact her in 6 months since my interview results are valid up to 1 year. But…at the end of May, I unfortunately acquired an incurable condition out of the blue called tinnitus. And a severe form of the condition. Basically, tinnitus is a condition where a person gets the perception of sound in the ears that doesn’t actually exist. This sound can be hissing, ringing, rumbling, etc. This condition interferes with every single aspect of my daily life. Anyways, I just realized how much precious time of my golden university years I wasted for trying to get at a company that at the end of the day, I wasn’t accepted. I didn’t realized that the best gift that I had at that time was the fact that I could enjoy silence and premium time with my friends and family that I didn’t enjoyed because I was too busy doing LeetCode to “have a better future”. But at what cost? Now I don’t literally care about my total compensation because if I had the choice to be poor and happy without this horrible disease, I would happily take it. But it doesn’t matter how many millions of dollars I have, if the condition is incurable, there’s simply no remedy. I love my current job and team, and I pray every single day of my life that I don’t get fired because of the distress and interference that this condition is causing me at my job. I regret the months of my life where I did LeetCode and simply wished that I could enjoy it as any other normal college student, since those were the final months of my life where I was going to be a normal person without this horrible disease. Sorry about the long post, just wanted to share a different perspective. TC: $120K