Just broke up with a boyfriend and feel like crap. He's a nice guy, but some things, which are important to me, I felt were always missing: - He would be shy to hug me in public. Not to mention a kiss. I'm not saying he should do it all the time, however at times it seemed like we're just two strangers walking together. - His interests are mostly video games and things around that. I play with him too, but any attempt to bring some variety to our activities was taken down. He doesn't like going on walks or hikes, no interest in sports, concerts, travel. If there is an option, he'd always prefer to play games. - His stamina is low, which impacted our sex life. I believe this could have been fixed with more physical activities and some good diet, but he has no interest in working on that. I did try to bring this up and talk on how we can improve together, but he showed no interest. - He is an introvert, and never openly talked about his feelings. I felt awkward asking, so it usually was a one way conversation from me. Today was the first time he said he loves me, this is after being together for almost two years and during me breaking up with him. During regular days he would barely message me anything or talk on that matter at all. He is a very kind person, has nice personality and is very bright. Some part of me tells that all of the above things could have been fixed, so I feel bad I've given up so fast. I wanted this relationship to work and was trying to fix whatever was bothering me. But another part of me can't see if he really wants anything to be fixed or maybe he just wants to be that way, and that's pretty much why we broke up. Tc 170
You're better off! Take some time to yourself. Take care of you...do everything you like to get it out of your system and then look for a good man (by this not saying be a hoe). You deserve much much better! Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise! Best of luck ❤ Some people are just horrible at communication. Also it seems like he has depression and perhaps other issues if he doesn't want to do anything else.
What a silly little pep talk.
^^ feeling threatened by something similar?
Women need to stop thinking they can “fix” a man, or get us to change. People only change when they want to, not because someone else wants us to. You wasted 2 years of your life with someone who was not right for you. Learn from it and move on. He won’t change. At best, he’ll make a good effort for 3-6 months and get right back into his old habits.
Spot on 👌
I wouldn't tag s 2 years relationship with word "waste". It have been an experience, for both of them, which both of them learnt and had fun. It just have been a chapter, just that 😊
Good for you recognizing your needs were not being met.
Tldr. But as they say. If u have to ask.
Don't look back...just forward.
Take him back
For all the things that you mentioned caused issues for you (personality traits of the guy), you stayed with him for the things that you recognised (kind, bright, nice). Every person has flaws but a couple compliment by bringing what the other doesn’t (not always but often). You were extrovert and he was introvert - that brought balance. Health and stamina are areas that can be worked on. Next time, see why you want a companion and then find the person that fills those gaps you can’t fulfil individually.
this. it’s also a good time to reflect about yourself, why you need him to do same things with you together , why not hugging in public bothers you, make you feel insecure. no one can fully meet our expectations. it would be wonderful if we can find that person that fits as much as we expect, but the reality is no one that can do that, and when they don’t, what will you do - will you take care of it yourself, or you’d rather move on because you feel you experience too much frustration. either choice has a point. if i were your friend, i’d support whatever you decide.
Also, to follow up, a large part of the relationship is negotiation. Must be able to effectively negotiate with each other before settling down
I mean you talked to him about it right? And he was unwilling to change. So you did the right thing. He would’ve been like this the rest of his life if you stayed with him.
She never said she spoke to him about those things. Assumption is the mother of all fu##ups.
So is assuming OP is a girl. No indication of that.
Pics? Btw he doesn’t love you if it took a breakup to get it out
Pics? I'll ask him if he's willing to share.
He is not into you
How so?