First few years were absolute pain with over controlling in-laws who would not only interfere in our general matters like how many vacations we take, how I maintain relation with my own parents, what I cook for their son but also finances and would constantly ask money for no reason. Constant fights with husband because he would never speak up for any of these abuses and got completely brainwashed by his parents. After all these years of all this torture and me starting over each day over again after a night full of crying now I feel I have completely fallen out of love and even though I want to work on this marriage and at least hold on to my vows, I don't have strength to start over again one more time or trust him one more time, I tried but I just cannot. None of my family members are supportive of divorce and they keep assuring things will eventually get better but I can't anymore. And don't know what to do, I can't even in my worst night mare think about having kids with him because of lack of trust and support from him to speak up for the right thing. I sometimes feel suicide is the only last resort but totally get it that that shouldn't be an option. I don't want to hurt him but feel totally trapped and see no way out
With my first wife I experienced something similar. I then married outside of my race and am now in a much better place.
Get free
Please don't ever say suicide is the last resort. If u r feeling out of Love, spend time alone , take a trip to a friend or cousins place .. stay safe. Also r u financially dependant on him?
To add to this he dint support me financially when he would send 10s of thousands of dollar to his parents and for younger brother's education who dint even know if he wanted to study but was too focused on enjoying his life in a foreign country. Long story short I started supporting myself and got a job but abuse from his parents never stopped and he still never spoke up. He doesn't even help me in house chores or in any emotional support or dint provide financial support when I dint know a thing in US. Now he says sorry but I am just done and don't want any sorry because he has said sorry like a 1000 times and reverts back to being himself the very next day
I am sorry to hear. I have not been there thankful, but happy to hear if you need someone to listen. Feel free to pm.
Forgiveness is giving up hope for a better yesterday. This situation shows no indication of tomorrow being any different. Forgiveness is irrelevant now. Sorry is irrelevant now.
Read the whole thing but the first sentence was enough. Get a divorce. DO NOT have kids.
Don’t think about suicide.. I think you should start ignoring in laws demand and questions.. if they ask what did you cook.. simply says Roti sabzi or whatever you generally cook.. don’t talk too much and pretend to focus on your stuff.. let your spouse feel that you are ignoring and let him complain.. if he is giving money.. he has all the rights to do so but have a fixed amount every month kept aside so can be given whenever they ask... husband won’t usually understand the pain as they never leave their parents and girls have to do lot of sacrifice.. but being happy should be goal of life.. ignore their questions and demand and don’t make his parents a reason of divorce.. get some good friends and spend time with those..
If you are not financially dependent on him.. stay to some other place for some time and let him feel the pain.. if he understands then better else you can make a choice. Sometime you make wrong choice but you should not pay for that lifelong. I had similar issue and didn’t talk to his parents for almost 6 months after confronting them once.. he understood and his parents as well so they stopped interfering in my personal stuff
F*ck you, delete this you piece of 💩
What’s wrong in this? Can’t you use decent words? Do you talk to all the women like this or your inner men is coming out as it’s blind and no one recognize you? If you would have said that on my face I would show you your actual place.
You will get advice that he’ll change and things would get better after kids, it’s a bigger trap and you’ll be stuck for life. Speaking from experience , then comes a bigger battle of parenting. It’s the culture how girls are raised, to be tolerant , certain level of abuse is ok to accept (as long as he doesn’t strangle you to death, he is a good man ) . Focus on your personal development and your financial security
I got pregnant after all the advice and I myself love kids, nothing got better. In fact we had a fight and I pushed him to which he started hitting me back and punched me back. I ended up having a miscarriage and his parents know all about this but still blamed me that how reckless can I be and put it all on me. They called my parents and humiliated me. I am not just saying suicide out of 2 months of trouble
Wtf. This is inhuman. OP, please get out of this shit. And if you need a place to stay temporarily, you are welcome to stay with me
I feel similar to you and I’m sorry for your pain. Harming yourself is not the last resort and is not your only option. Please don’t think that way. It will get better and if you leave so be it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know you feel pressure but you can leave if you want to. Please contact a counselor for yourself and a marriage counselor for your relationship.
I requested him for us to see marriage counselor, asked my parents to talk to him, I even asked him for counselling as our anniversary gift but he dint want to go and it has been 2 years since and things are still same or worst
If they won’t go to counseling you have no choice but to leave.