Girls in my life (24M) do sometimes seem to see me as a potential partner & show interest for a few days or weeks, but always back out before things become real. Sometimes going cold before I ask them out, sometimes turning me down in that moment. When there’s further communication, the phrase “confused about how I feel” tends to show up. Something must be going well to get their attention in the first place, but something must be going poorly to keep from closing the deal. It’s like I’m attractive under either System 1 or System 2 but not both. Anyone have experience with this? How have you overcome it?
Maybe you come across as too desperate. Maybe you ask out too early. Maybe you’re not as smart as your first impression. Maybe you are too geeky that you initially seem. Etc etc There could be thousands of reasons and if you haven’t had enough sample set yet, maybe it’s too early to generalize as well. Just keep trying. Also keeping a journal of your timeline and emotions through the process might help in reflecting back in each case.
Did you guys do it and she feels the same? I think that may tell you something to dig deeper..
Their interest timer is pretty short. You’ve to take a risk and escalate things before you run out of time and they decided to put you in friendzone. It’s like, when you meet some girl who finds you attractive, you have only a short amount of time before she considers you for “next steps”. If not, she’ll find someone who fits her needs and sends you the generic rejection response.
So basically kiss on the first date
Thank you for your interest in dating me. While you’re a really great and nice guy, at this time I’m moving forward with another candidate.
You have a great attitude in that you're looking at yourself first. If you know the type of partner you want to attract and you ask yourself what kind of person you would need to be to attract that person in all regards, you can work to become that and he/she will come. Work on your ability to relate and connect with others and your future partner's thoughts, emotions, and motivations won't be a mistery.
Hi, I recently developed an ML model to do women-to-men translations. Let me see what it says when I input “confused about how I feel” Ah yeah it says: “not interested” Happy to help!
WTH are system 1 and system 2?
Thinking instinctively and thinking slowly and deliberately
That doesn’t make sense in context. Lol
Did you show them your penis?
Basically she keeps you as a beta orbiter. I know it's harsh but at least you will hear something useful here.
Maybe your voice is really squeaky.
I had no idea what it could be until you dropped the terms “System 1/2”
fair