Crush on my friend
I have a crush on my friend secretly. He's been the perfect friend. Always there to listen to my nonsense, encourages me, makes me believe I am capable of accomplishing whatever I want. I have opened up and confided in him, and I feel comfortable being vulnerable around him. I started developing strong feelings for him, I feel like I'm in love with his character, mind, and soul. I care about him more than I care about myself (first time ever) and i think he is the most beautiful person I've ever met. But I think he will never like me the way I like him.... And it's been hard to contain my true feelings (that I like him more than a friend). I get jealous when he talks about other girls, even though he doesn't know. I know I'm not being a genuine friend by feeling these things. I do want him to get marry and be happy, no one deserves that more than him... Still it hurts me to think of him with someone. It's been a year since I've been feeling this.... I thought it would go away by now. Am I torturing myself by continuing to be friends with him? Should I tell him how I feel? << I don't even know how. Right now I'm trying to distance myself, to protect my feelings and prevent myself from getting further attached...as I think this will end badly for me if I don't. I can be quite sensitive, and it takes me a long time to heal from a broken heart. We were trying to work on a startup together.... But I just asked him if we could dissolve it... I just want to move on. I think about him too much and I just feel like I'm torturing myself. He has no idea, and has done nothing wrong at all, I don't want to bother him with this, or complicate his life, or make him feel bad. Gosh I'm a mess. Help. Just a girl looking for advice on how to move forward and get past this.
Ask him out.
He's not interested... I tried to non-directly before and he's rejected the idea.
Iāll take indirectly for 200
obligatory TC question
Yup TC or GTFO
Well, you would already know if he is interested in you since you spend lots of time together. You may try to tell him and he might accept your feelings, but you better find someone who is same crazy in love with you. Btw what is your and his TC? Lol
my TC is much higher than his, he's doing his PHD right now.
my question is stupid but his isn't? š
Sometimes you wonāt get anything without asking. Itās ok to loose but you will regret later that you lost without fight. Itās never wrong in expressing what you feel, provided you do so in a constructive way rather than aggressive... you will never loose true friends and the ones are not true friends wonāt matter anyway...
I'm 99% it will end on akward rejection. I need advice on how to move forward.
Guys don't take a hint. Also no single guy will ever say no to sex. Most married guys will also never say no to sex. Invite him to your home for dinner. Get wine. Tell him you like him. Then get naked and initiate sex. After that if he is smart he may get the hint that you want a relationship. Also TC or GTFO
Wow thatās tough. To move on you will need to cut off connection with him and stop talking to him. Itāll suck at first but eventually those memories and feelings will fade. A girl had a crush on me similar to you. I was oblivious for 2-3 years and she sort of hid her feelings (she gave me gifts that I didnāt realize were signs of affection). Eventually she confessed her feelings to me but I didnāt reciprocate because I wasnāt physically attracted to her (I did not tell her this), though I did feel some emotional connection. Iām pretty sure I scarred her and broke her heart. But I still think about her fondly when we were friends (we donāt talk much anymore). Moral is if you confess, know you could be hurt.
Yes exactly. I'm pretty sure I will get hurt... Pretty badly... I can already tell...so no need to be blunt with him and confirm it 100%, and traumatized myself. so I just want to move on.
Yeah you need distance and to cease communications and then youāll need to fall in love with someone else, that was my friendās happy ending. I have no idea how youāll do that last part....
Link him to this post and tell him someone posted this and you found it interesting...note his reaction to the post. If he smart enough, he will get the hint. If he still does not, not worth pursuing.
Ask him: He either says he feels the same, happy ending or he says he isnāt that into you, still you got your closure and can dust off your bruised ego and move on. No point in sitting on your hands and wondering.
You might actually have a point. I'm planning to distance myself from him anyways, maybe I can give one direct attempt. That rejection is gonna hurt so bad though, I'm scared. I actually never confessed feelings to anyone before.... I'm such an akward loserrr... Ugh. I really don't know how to do this....
You only live once! Be brave. Also, if heās not interested youāll eventually find out. Youāve already wasted one year of your life wondering, pull the bandaid and find out. Even though it wonāt be pleasant, it will make moving on easier.
Don't complicate and overthink. Not a big deal, guys are cool. Maybe he is also thinking same. Be brave and tell him. Have a shot to boost your confidenceš
Based on the way he talks and treats me, I know he doesn't see me the same way. It's like 99% chance it will just make him uncomfortable and leave him speechless .... why would I do that?
If he was interested you would know by now