Hey. I just turned 26 and overall I'm pretty satisfied with life. I'm making 125k in the Midwest, married, and have a dog. However, I'm finding it harder and harder to relate to my friends, who (this may sound braggy) make half or less than my income, aren't in serious relationships, and still go out every weekend to get drunk. I like going to the bars occasionally, but not every weekend. I feel like my friends always feel like the 3rd wheel when we hang out, so they don't really ask to come over or to hang out. ..in addition, our hobbies are different, and I feel like most of my friends really don't know that much about me anymore. I want to maintain these friendships because these dudes stood up at my wedding, and most of them have a growth mindset, but I also want to make new ones. Advice, thoughts? Similar experiences?
Your friends are doing what 26 year olds should be doing which is enjoying their lives. Let them live their lives. Keep in touch. Find some other friends that have a similar lifestyle than you.
I'm also enjoying my life! I'm working out, learning new things, taking vacations, planning to get my pilot's license, training my dog, etc. My wife and I still go out, just not rip roaring drunk
You have moved on to a newer phase of life - marriage. They haven't. This is natural. You will relate with them (or they will relate with you) once they're married. Until then, find married people to hangout with. Or stay busy, anyway.
Be friends with other married people
Just so you’re aware, you’re the one not living the norm for a highly paid 26yo
Right, I understand that. I'm very thankful but also still feeling these things
This is common, op. A bunch of my friends have gone over to your side. I wish them luck but I have no real desire for their lifestyle, so I don’t hang out with them much and we ve drifted away pretty quick. I’ll say one thing that I still find surprising: marriage seems to have become a switch that gets flipped after which no one does individual things anymore. All activities are couples activities, which is often a bummer to me, eg, for the activities that we enjoyed trying to Go next level on (tennis, volleyball, skiing are obvious examples in my case). So I miss that, but I’m not really willing to do a heavily watered down version of it more than once or twice a year.
To put this into Blind perspective. You've been downleveled with your friends match. Don't worry it will be corrected over time. You just need to let your friends have time to reach the level you are. Since you are a top peformer in the group, know that "The flame that burns Twice as bright burns half as long.". As for your friends, they need to leedcode more. Joking aside, your friends are ok. You just got ahead in your life. They'll catchup soon. You're still young.
Thanks. So do you really think I'll burn out and have a crisis before I'm like, 30?
Not really. But you will continue to get frustrated that everyone else(friends/SO/family/coworkers) are not having the same success/goals/priorities in life. But I'm sure by the time you are 30 your friends will be more on your level in terms of family/obligations/fun.
Are you in Minnesota?
If they are truly your friends they will always be there for you no matter what. So dont feel bad if you dont relate to them. Go out and do things you and your wife likes. That way you will make new friends. Make friends with other couples. When your current friends offer to hang out and go to the bar and drink just mention that you dont like that lifestyle anymore and suggest doing different things. Be open to them. If they dont hangout with you anymore or make no effort, let them go. True friends always stick around.
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Make new friends, keep the old ones