First date. Lots of laughter. Went for the kiss. Got rejected.

Google Ruthless
May 19, 2018 144 Comments

First date. Made her laugh all the way, and she's very willing to laugh at my jokes. Sent her to back to her car in the end and went for the kiss after she got off my car. She rejected and said she's afraid of her coworker seeing us cause it's her office building. Well it was 11:50 pm on a Friday.

After she went home she texted me saying she's safely back home and thanked me for everything. I simply said good night. She said good night.

This is a person that I had a good time with.
This is a person who I was attracted to.
This is also a person who has no problem turning me down.

So now my question to you all is, should I accept the reality, and move the f*** along. Not planning to contact her unless contacted first.

Don't know if I'm really doing the right thing. I post here just want to get some good advice. You guys are smart people. Some of you especially in relationship.

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TOP 144 Comments
  • Cisco psalm
    just ask for a second date and go for the kiss then
    May 19, 2018 1
    • Juniper / Product SkankHnt42
      that would make too much common sense. lemme check with blind.
      May 19, 2018
  • New FGvf54
    JFC. Some people just don’t like kissing on the first date. Just ask her out again.

    When did dudes become such pussies?
    May 19, 2018 5
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Daring to kiss on a first date makes you a pussy? I truly don't understand
      May 19, 2018
    • New FGvf54
      No, you’re being a pussy for being like “WELP she rejected my kiss on the first date, should I move on?”
      May 19, 2018
    • New FGvf54
      Oh yeah also the “not plan on contacting her unless contacted first.”
      May 19, 2018
    • Facebook / Design
      Crabcakes

      Facebook Design

      BIO
      Product designer
      Crabcakesmore
      Amen.

      So let’s just play this back. She turned down the kiss and gave you her reasoning for that. (She didn’t want to make out in the parking lot of her workplace...what a shocker) AND she contacted you immediately after the date, which is a big sign of interest.

      Your response is to deny her feelings/preferences (the actual reason), interpret this encounter as a rejection, give her the cold shoulder, and come here to complain.

      OP, you are doing exactly the wrong things.
      May 19, 2018
    • Apple ,e
      +1 crab cakes and FGv54
      May 19, 2018
  • Google Ruthless
    OP
    I'll wait for Wednesday and ask her out again. Thanks for all the comments above. Really appreciated you all.
    May 19, 2018 13
    • Google ricosuave
      Buzzard, are you indian?
      May 19, 2018
    • Google YTBs33
      Gnic ever heard of the concept of courtship? Or did you just date the homely girls who had given up on that dream?
      May 19, 2018
    • Google ricosuave
      Another indian woman to the rescue. Ladies, vegana is cheap; you better have something more to offer.
      May 19, 2018
    • eBay Buzzard
      I'm a white woman, but thanks for playing!
      May 19, 2018
    • Apple / Other Tres comas
      Don’t listen to gnic. Dude is an idiot. Just ask her out tomorrow again. If a girl doesn’t wanna go out with you then She won’t. Don’t play games, just be forward and honest
      May 20, 2018
  • Yahoo Lord Vader
    Second date. Are you quitting already? Come on!
    May 19, 2018 0
  • Plaid
    jkY52hG

    Plaid

    PRE
    Amazon
    jkY52hGmore
    Dude stop being a drama queen lmao just ask her out on a 2nd date and see where things go
    May 19, 2018 0
  • Google gnic
    I hope you didn't pay for the date. Never do that. If you did and she calls again, ask where is she bringing you, and make sure she pays. Move along otherwise
    May 19, 2018 11
    • Microsoft Zuzi
      I highly suspect you’ve never been with a woman. Your imagination is most likely all you have of what it’s like being in a relationship.
      May 19, 2018
    • Google gnic
      Zuzi, I have been married twice, and had my fair amount of dates before and after my first wife. On the other hand, feel free to suspect what you want, that's not something I care about.
      What I suspect is that you are either a white knight cuck, or a leach
      May 19, 2018
    • eBay Buzzard
      Lol you brag about being married twice 🤣🤣🤣 and think you can give good relationship advice 🤣🤣🤣
      May 19, 2018
    • Google gnic
      Who would you take advice from, a virgin?
      May 19, 2018
    • Amazon ToGp3$
      Not all Asian women expects men to pay. My wife, when we were dating paid for dinner and gas every time I visit her from college.
      May 19, 2018
  • Oracle moe’s art
    Not a slut. Check. Now proceed to that second date!
    May 19, 2018 3
    • Axtria keep_calm
      Why would she proceed with a guy-slut 🙄
      May 19, 2018
    • New / Eng
      :O

      New Eng

      BIO
      philly, angular spring boot postgres
      :Omore
      Because they dependable put out
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      I'm looking for a slut who only sluts with me. Jkjk
      May 20, 2018
  • Facebook didntgetit
    If you liked her, ask her out again. You could be and probably are interpreting correctly, but maybe some Cosmo reading friend of hers insisted that she should "play hard to get"
    May 19, 2018 7
    • Tinder / Eng
      meowimacat

      Tinder Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft
      BIO
      Im a cat! Meow 🐈
      meowimacatmore
      🤣
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Tinder dude does make some sense, speaking from my past experience
      May 20, 2018
    • Tinder / Eng
      meowimacat

      Tinder Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft
      BIO
      Im a cat! Meow 🐈
      meowimacatmore
      Don't waste your time playing these silly mind games that some women play, just go for someone else
      May 20, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Second to this
      May 20, 2018
    • Facebook gaffer
      Is she actually playing mind games, or are you just the first guy to take her out and her only frame of reference is her catholic grandma?
      May 20, 2018
  • Intel a10
    She's a psychopath and a monster for not kissing a first date in front of her office building! Abort and never contact her again!
    May 19, 2018 1
    • New FGvf54
      At this point I’m leaning toward this to spare the girl from this dude lmao
      May 19, 2018
  • Daimler sslhandshk
    Uninstalling Tinder. Single female here
    May 19, 2018 4
    • MuleSoft ynPA37
      Same 😹
      May 19, 2018
    • Google YTBs33
      Haha don’t worry ladies. Mid 30s man here. We grow out of being this pathetic, eventually.
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Don't understand what you are talking about. Never installed
      May 20, 2018
    • Amazon Flows
      Seems like no better place in the world to catch an emotionally mature, sensitive, caring guy than Blind. *coughcough*
      May 20, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng SHA256
    Lol this kid
    May 19, 2018 1
  • Qualtrics huuciciv
    The last girl I went out with didn’t let me kiss her for the first 3 dates. I had the same feelings at the time as you do now of giving up after the first 2 dates, but I stuck with it, got that kiss and now we are married! Oh wait now that we’re married she doesn’t kiss me either, so nevermind go find another fish in the sea.
    May 19, 2018 5
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Darn what a twist of the story
      May 19, 2018
    • Qualtrics huuciciv
      😂😂😂
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      So what do you think is the moral of the story?
      May 20, 2018
    • Qualtrics huuciciv
      Follow your heart.
      May 20, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      What does that mean? Are you happy that she does not kiss now?
      May 20, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng Urchin
    Source: I am now married, but dated/slept with many girls when I was younger.

    Disclaimer: Before you read all this, I will state that every woman is different, but I am going to generalize. Many have commonalities, however. In general, I strongly believe the underlying basis of every romantic relationship is sex. That simple. It might sound obvious, but it's not. The meaning of sex here is overloaded, but intuitively you should understand what it means. Also, that is not the only thing that makes a relationship successful, there are many other factors as we are evolved primates. But without sex, it won't exist. Also, there's a fine line here. I am not encouraging to treat women like objects either.

    Approach and follow up with her like you just want sex. But don't state it obviously, it has to be in your demeanor. And don't make it seem like you're desperate. Don't give off any other indications that you want anything else, yet. If after 10 dates you find value in her, take the relationship to the next level. Just because you're attracted to a girl doesn't mean she will provide value to your life in the long term. So act that way, and keep her away at a safe distance. Women can be flaky, catty, difficult, for various reasons. Protect yourself and don't invest too heavily at first if you want to avoid headaches.

    Feminists are not going to like this post, and women will disagree with it, but I don't care. It sounds counterintuitive, but a rule of thumb should be to not take advice from women on dating women. They will give you logical answers, but they get elicited emotionally. When was the last time you saw a woman get excited over a guy because he logically convinced her he's a great catch? Right. Again, think of her as someone that you just want sex out of. But really believe it too. Doesn't mean you treat her rudely either. Be confident, but not hubris. Believe that she will benefit if she's in your presence. Really believe it, especially if you believe you're a good person. If you think you're good in bed (you should), that's even more icing on the cake. Try this out, see how things turn out. One small caveat: if she's super unconfident about herself (which I doubt), you may want to tone down this approach.

    Note: the details and subtleties matter here. If you go too strong or too soft it will backfire. And she may attempt to speed up or slow down the tempo, so you will have to play the dance. You need to control the pace - not her. If it doesn't work out, that's ok. Many more girls you can practice on. Stop over valuing a girl.
    May 19, 2018 3
    • Cisco slimjack
      This
      May 19, 2018
    • MuleSoft ynPA37
      No... don’t do this at all
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      100% agree with you. This is practically my belief system. And that's why I always go for a kiss on the first date. The truth is not political correct, nor feministically agreeable. the Truth is harsh.
      May 20, 2018
  • New snorks
    I love blind. The shit I read on here makes me feel like a real ladies man, and I'm no ladies man.
    May 19, 2018 2
    • Facebook / Design
      Crabcakes

      Facebook Design

      BIO
      Product designer
      Crabcakesmore
      Best
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      👏
      May 20, 2018
  • Apple ,e
    Dude grow a thick skin. Some girls don't physically want to do anything with a guy on a first date. If this is how you're going to be in a relationship, taking it so personally, please spare the girl from a relationship full of disappointing you.
    May 19, 2018 0
  • Microsoft sudox
    Good things take time. Don’t rush, learn where she is in life, what her mindset is, put yourself in her position and you’ll learn a lot about yourself and of humans in the process. Have fun, ask her out, and be open about how you feel. Saying what is in your mind simplifies things for everyone. Don’t expect her to reciprocate, but always give people a chance to grow into a relationship with you.
    May 19, 2018 0
  • Google Ruthless
    OP
    I think you all deserve an update. In the following week 1 and 2. I shot her text once to ask her out with a definite time. She wanted to text but not willing to meet in person. So it's pretty clear and I said "let me know when you have time" and never turned back.
    Jun 8, 2018 5
    • Qualtrics huuciciv
      Ouch. Guess she was never interested in the first place. A better fit will come along, don’t worry.
      Jun 8, 2018
    • That’s because you’re an asshole.
      Jun 8, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      It's a number's game. No biggie. I rejected another girl the next week. Just like she rejected me. Over time I started to feel numbed. And ego is a bitch.
      Jun 8, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Yes I am. Never gonna deny. I'm sure you are a nice guy or a nice woman.
      Jun 8, 2018
    • Google icejjfish
      Respect. I wish more men were like you. I am a woman and see my female friends stringing men along for dinners, entertainment, and ego boosts.
      Jun 8, 2018
  • Google Googleplex
    My gf allowed me first kiss only after 1 year of faithful relationship
    May 19, 2018 4
    • Google
      EIon Musk

      Google

      PRE
      Amazon
      BIO
      TesIa CEO
      EIon Muskmore
      OMG seriously?
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Googleplex
      Yes, but since then we have together for abt 17 years and still in serious love !
      May 19, 2018
    • Google
      EIon Musk

      Google

      PRE
      Amazon
      BIO
      TesIa CEO
      EIon Muskmore
      Well that’s very sweet. I’m wrong assuming everyone will follow the same formula
      May 19, 2018
    • Facebook gLKg44
      Are you Indian? There are cultural differences.
      May 20, 2018
  • Microsoft YashikPiva
    How old are you?
    May 19, 2018 4
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      I'm 25 she's 26
      May 19, 2018
    • Microsoft YashikPiva
      You are too sensitive. If you are 25 you probably had some experience already. It's been 1 date, 1 night of just laughs, what do you expect from her? You had some good time with someone you liked- awesome. If she is interested in continuing your relationship, she'll let you know, if not - great too, there is a lot of other girls out there.
      May 19, 2018
    • Amazon ToGp3$
      First date could determine everything. Haven’t you seen When We First Met on Netflix?
      May 19, 2018
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      I haven't. But is a fictional (I assume. Correct me if I'm wrong) TV show reference value enough?
      May 20, 2018
  • Oath / Other
    We R VENOM

    Oath Other

    BIO
    11001001 0010011 0011101 1111101 ::-£|__£¥•
    We R VENOMmore
    Oh this dude is weak.. not that the first kiss was rejected. Because you were ready to move on. I went on plenty of dates where I never even attempted to kiss her on the lips. Just a hug good night and a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes they respond back when a kiss on my check, sometimes on the lips. Usually got a second date and things got way better after. She probably have you a valid reason. Don’t even worry about it and ask her out again. I’m sure if you play your cards right magic will happen. You’re thinking too much about it and it’s probably nothing. If she won’t give you a second then move along, Mr Drama Queen.
    May 19, 2018 3
    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      I'm moving on because I have other options all over me right now. I simply don't have extra time to spread. And I consider myself a decent person who don't waste other people's time. But good luck with your approach.
      May 20, 2018
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Google Ruthless
      OP
      Yes I am. You go say the same thing to all the successful people who have choices.
      May 20, 2018

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