Handling the fact your family feels you are messed up!
My dad thinks I am still a failure, mom and sisters think I am a loner with no friends ... I have held really good positions in past plus where I work and how much I earn.. Yet my dad compares and says your cousins are smart because they did that... I get furious and angry and feel like going away from everyone... I have struggled with depression since last 8 years, I have autism so it’s challenging for me to make friends plus I am introvert... Is there life coach who can teach you few things about life? I am not asking for career advise or marriage advise as such... My parents did not teach me any social skills or any other skills necessary to stand up in society.. It’s messed up...but I am still thankful to god for everything he has given to me..
There are incredible therapists , coaches , and training programs out there. I would challenge you to think of a person in your life who you can confide in. A friend / manager / colleague - I found this helpful a few years ago during a very hard time. I ended up seeing a therapist and currently have been working with a life/career coach who I have weekly calls with.
Hey man, a part of becoming an adult is developing your own belief system and outgrowing your relatives / family. Without it you’ll inherently feel like a failure and your life will depend on their opinions. It is a dead end. If you live your life using their expectations, be they good or bad, you’ll never get to live a life that is yours. You have to realize that you’re not introverted, a failure, a higher earner, an engineer, or whatever. You just are. “I am”. When you stop identifying with labels, facts from you life, expectations, you’ll see the world through the lens where you no longer use your logical brain to analyze and conform to the image others have of you and simply start living your own life on your own terms. It is an incredibly freeing experience. I suggest you read the following books to get yourself on track: 1. “Scripts people live” by Claude Steiner 2. “The Way of The Superior Man” by David Deida 3. “Games people pay” by Eric Berne 4. “How to make friends and influence people.” by Dale Carnegie Feel free to PM me. I’ve helped others on Blind in similar situations.
Be independent and confident. You don’t need friends. I have like 2 people in my life who I consider friends and they’re not even in the same country. Do things to make yourself happy. Pamper yourself when you feel down. If you have time, find a partner through dating. Play video games or watch movies. Meet new people through meetups/work. Maybe you’ll find someone who clicks with you. I haven’t found a friend in two years, still I’m doing fine. So yeah, be strong and don’t give up. All the best :)
Set boundaries with your family. Tell them you won’t accept anymore comparisons and if they cross the line, limit contact with them.
Tough, comparisons create winners and losers which cause resentment. Cheer for the success of others while working on your internal happiness. Also be in charge of your own happiness and try not to look for praise from your father as a source of happiness.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions
Clearly, you’re not alone.
I know how you feel. I overcame similar problems especially with my dad by becoming my own person and developing my own perspective. I won’t recommend cutting your family completely out because you only have one. I noticed that in your post you have a great job and have done some impressive things, but to me it sounds like you’re doing this to earn recognition/acceptance from your family. I’d recommend to stop doing that. Do what truly matters to you and you’ll become more happier about yourself. These kinds of things suck, but when you come out of the other end it’s a lot better. Good luck!
I felt this way much of my 20s. Honestly I would just ignore it all and try to be happy. It gets better.
You don't need anyone's ratings about how well you are doing in life. Mental satisfaction is the most important thing. If you happy being where you no need to pay attention to negative people around you. IGNORE
They didn’t teach you social skills because they didn’t want you to have them. They wanted to blame you and project their own failures instead. Cut them out of your life.
Hear! Hear!
On the contrary.. perhaps the parents themselves didn’t have any social skills.!