I resolved a few years ago to try one last time at dating and if I didn't find anyone to never try again. But since then on occasion I look at dating sites. I don't feel good about it because I like to keep my promises to myself. I even talked to a few guys online but didn't meet them in person because it wouldn't be honest to do so. How can I get better at keeping this important promise to myself?
Not really, because we're grownups and don't do pinky swears.
We can still make promises or have goals no matter our age. I updated my question to better reflect what I was wanting advice on.
You need a support system; I would suggest a buddy. If you’re tempted to ask a guy out or something, text your buddy first. Also, delete the apps from your phone at least until you won’t be tempted too easily. I’m a guy and swore off dating once after a really bad relationship. It lasted a year, and I tweaked it some to only date casually (for another year). I kept busy, met new people, went out with friends, had a buddy (my best friend) who would provide encouragement and support, etc. Hopefully you don’t give up hope completely. I didn’t, and in the midst of my “dating fast” I met a friend who I eventually fell in love with and married.
This is good advice. Thanks I'm not tempted to ask anyone out. Im sometimes tempted to download dating apps and look at the guys online but mostly I just look and don't talk to them. I'll try find a buddy to keep me on track. Thanks again. Mostly I've kept my promise to not date but now I want to change it to not looking at dating apps as I'm losing a lot of time there.
You probably also want to read about changing habits. The easiest way to do that is not from force of will, but to piggyback off of good habits and use rewards. So after the end of a day where you don’t use a dating app, reward yourself with something small. The trick is to tie the reward as close as possible to the accomplishment of the task. Your brain will eventually habituate to the new habit instead of the old one.
this is ridiculous. you’re trying to solve the wrong problem.
It's not ridiculous. Spending time on dating apps is affecting my life negatively and I'm missing all sorts of work deadlines.
spending too much time on dating apps is a different problem from dating in general.
This can be on the top of “dumbest post ever” list!
...Why? The desire to find a mate is literally embedded in your genetic code. Don’t forget the whole purpose of organic life is to reproduce.
I have no idea what you are trying to achieve... but solution is to do a sex change operation.. once you become a male.. other guys won't hit on you.. and you don't like Girls..so there won't be any problem.. note: follow my advice at your own risk..
Castration
Stop feeding the troll
Whenever you feel the need to date... masturbate
You should start by making only good promises. Promising never to date again is a bad one, and setting yourself up for failure.
I learned dating is a waste of time for me so it's important to keep this promise. Sometimes I am tempted to break it as I forget that I already know it's a waste of time. That's why sometimes l look on dating apps but I never go on dates anymore. I guess I am still keeping my promise as I'm not going on dates just looking online which is a big timewaster. Perhaps I should have promised myself not to do any dating related activities. I'll try to work on that promise instead. Thanks for your help!
Still think you’re setting yourself up for failure. Unless you’re like 60, you have a ton of time shape yourself and meet new people.